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Sarah motioned to speak, and Kendra pressed her finger to her lips and shook her head. She replaced her finger with her mouth and explored Sarah with her tongue as she traced the line of Sarah’s hip and found the warmth and wetness between her legs.
Sarah moaned and raised her head as Kendra entered her. Kendra gave her more, kissed her harder and fucked her deeper. She moved with Sarah’s rhythm and covered Sarah’s moans with her kisses. Sarah started to tremble, and she held her there, moving her fingers slower, and deeper, and taking her gently to a peak. As Sarah tipped over the edge, she arched her back, tipped her head back, and let out a long soft cry.
Sarah caught her breath. “You’re so fucking sexy,” she whispered. Her arms slackened, and her body spasmed beneath Kendra’s. Kendra undid the ties and lay her head on Sarah’s chest and smiled at her racing heart. Sarah wrapped her arms around her, and Kendra inhaled the scent of her. She’d never loved anyone like this. Sarah trusted her, and she trusted Sarah. But it was all going to come to an end, again. She had to let Sarah go so she could take the job she’d worked her life for. This time it was Kendra doing the rejecting, and her heart hurt like hell. She turned away and closed her burning eyes. Why couldn’t she just go back with Sarah and be happy? Because she didn’t want to get to the point of resenting Sarah, and she was sure that would happen if she returned with her to set up their life inside a political world, that would eventually destroy them.
31.
SARAH LAID IN BEDchewing on the inside of her lip, while Kendra breathed softly at her side and the birds chirped noisily. The week had been filled with adventure and something she found difficult to put into words. It was as if she had opened her eyes to the time when she had been Abi’s age and fiercely passionate, and it had reminded her of all that she could have achieved.
And all that she had not, the rising emptiness reminded her.
She weaved her hand into her hair and pulled it down and watched an insect making its way with darting movements across the inside of the green canvas roof above the netting. Even her reaction to the creatures of the jungle had subsided, most likely because Kendra was so damned calm and cool about everything. Kendra had held spiders and pointed to scorpions just inches away until at some point, Sarah had forgotten to react to them. She’d studied their vibrant colours and distinctive patterns and become better acquainted with their habits. She’d started to tread carefully and move slowly, mindful of not unnecessarily disturbing something so precious.
Unhurried had only been a concept before this week. Nothing about her skiing had ever been leisurely. Those holidays had simply reflected the manic life she led, and the sex hadn’t touched her heart or her life. It had fulfilled a need and made her feel attractive. This lake, this jungle, and this beautiful woman at her side had awoken her to the spark that had once been her guiding light. And today, she would leave it all to continue the fight for PM in London.
Kendra stirred. “What time is it?”
Sarah traced the shape of her face and smiled. “Eight.” She held Kendra’s unblinking gaze, the ache beneath her ribs deepening as the smile slipped from her lips.
“I don’t want you to go,” Kendra said.
“Come with me.” The tightness squeezed around Sarah’s throat.
Kendra closed her eyes and rolled onto her back. She put her hands behind her head and heaved a sigh. “You’re going to be a great PM, Sarah.”
Sarah sunk deeper into the mattress, and she had the sense of her heart shrinking and her stomach clenching. “We’re good together, Kenny.”
Kendra’s chest rose high and fell low, but she kept her eyes closed. Her mouth twitched and then became still. “We’ve had a great week together.”
Sarah sat upright and wrapped her arms around her knees. She searched the room, trying to find some way to process Kendra’s apparent indifference towards what had been a transformational experience for Sarah, and fought the urge to lash out at her. She couldn’t look at her without the hurt burning inside. She climbed out of bed and pulled on her clothes. “I’ll see you later. I need to pack,” she said and walked out of the hut.
Not knowing how Kendra had responded to her imminent departure gnawed inside her. She wanted to look through her window as she passed, to see her upset, to think that Kendra would miss her. But she strode past without a glance, unable to face the fact that Kendra might still be lying in the bed on her back with her hands behind her head and her eyes shut. She closed her door and stared at her half-packed suitcase on the bed, picked up her work phone and turned it on. Since they were still on recess, there shouldn’t be anything urgent, but that wouldn’t have stopped Jeremy spinning his way through the week to advance her campaign as he had done the previous year. If there was any news, good or bad, he would have dealt with it and written her a briefing note. She’d intended to pick up her emails and messages in Bangkok for something to occupy her mind on the long-haul flight home, but after Kendra’s apathy, she would start that process now. It might make leaving here easier.
There was nothing of note, and her irritation flared. She looked towards the lake. The cool water would help the burning inside, then she would finish packing to be ready in time for the longtail boat’s departure just after breakfast. She went onto the deck area, lowered herself into the water, and swam. Why couldn’t Kendra come with her? Why couldn’t they live happily in the UK? Sarah had already decided to come out once she’d been elected, so they could live openly. She wouldn’t think twice about marrying Kendra if that’s what Kendra wanted. She lay on her back, tipped her head back, and made like a snow angel with her arms. She glided through the water, but the burning inside her was untouched by the lake. She swam back and climbed onto the deck.
“Good swim?” Kendra asked. She met Sarah on the deck and held out a cup. “I made you coffee.”
Sarah flicked the wet hair from her face and took a drink. “Thanks.” The heat in her body intensified under Kendra’s gaze and when Kendra smiled, Sarah’s heart ached at the thought of leaving her behind. She turned towards the lake as the tears welled in her eyes and tensed at the tenderness of Kendra’s hand on her back.
“I love you, Sarah. And this has been the most amazing week of my life.”
Sarah’s phone rang and she turned from Kendra and picked it up. “Jeremy?”
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
Sarah tilted her head back and focused on the inside of the roof. “Nice to hear from you too.”
The pause was long and tight, and she could hear Jeremy take a deep breath as he always did when he was bracing himself to say something to her that he knew she didn’t want to hear. “Why are you in Thailand?”
Her heart pounded. “What do you mean?”
Jeremy sighed. “Your phone is tracked, remember, for your protection. What the fuck are you doing with her?”
Kendra raised her eyebrows and turned her back to Sarah. Jeremy didn’t need to shout for his voice to travel through the small wooden structure. He might as well have been on loudspeaker. His words and tone twisted in her gut. “None of your business.”
Another long, weighted pause lingered between them, and Sarah’s stomach churned. She imagined Jeremy pacing, his mind spinning a story at a hundred miles an hour.
“Get out of that place.”
