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He shook his head. “People say things they don’t mean when they’re hurting.”
“She didn’t take the money, and I didn’t think to question Jeremy when he said she had.”
His frown deepened. “So? That doesn’t mean anything.”
“It means everything to her.”
He paced the room, scratching his head. “Maybe she needs to know you love her above everything else, Sarah. Most people need that.”
“I do love her.” She rubbed her temple with the heel of her hand. “I do.”
He smiled. “I know.”
She held his gaze, and the epiphany struck her. She loved Kendra above everything else. His eyes sparkled like an excited child and his grin widened as if he’d read her mind. “I have to be with her,” she said.
He nodded. “And what about PM?”
She shook her head. “My heart isn’t in it. It’s with Kendra. I’ll see the campaign through to give us the best chance of winning, then quit.”
He smiled. “That’s going to involve some tough conversations.”
She didn’t look forward to the potential impact on her reputation for resigning immediately if she won but quitting this late in the campaign would be detrimental to the party, and she couldn’t do that. And on the slim chance that she didn’t win, she could leave without any fallout.
“Are you going to call Kendra and tell her?”
Sarah shook her head. “We didn’t part on the best terms. I want to face her with the news once I’ve sorted everything out.”
He cleared his throat. “And if she…if she says no?”
“Then I’ll rethink my career along with my life. I’m not going back into politics. There are other environmental projects I could work on.” She rubbed his arm. “Whatever happens, I need to make some changes. I’m tired, Mark.”
He nodded. “You looked happy around her.”
“I was. The happiest I’ve ever been.”
“Everything will work out,” he said.
Sarah couldn’t be so sure, but she would find out soon enough.
“I’m going to help with cooking before our children decimate the kitchen,” he said. “I reckon our son will be on his second glass of champers if we don’t get down there sharpish.”
She kissed him on the cheek. “You’re the best,” she said. It was time to celebrate all that they had achieved together and all that was to come as they went their separate ways.
34.
KENDRA HAD WATCHED THEnews recording as it switched between each party’s campaign room as the count came through. It had been approaching midnight. Sarah had smiled though she looked exhausted, and when the camera caught her eyes, Kendra had seen a vacant expression. Even as the announcement came that she had won the election, her reaction had been more subdued than Kendra expected. She’d always been humbled by victory. It had been the same when she’d been appointed leader of the party. Business as usual. No slacking. Focused. Determined. Onwards and upwards. But no matter how many times Kendra had rewatched the video and caught glimpses of her preceding the result and during her subsequent interview thanking voters for their confidence, she appeared devoid of the joy she should have been feeling. Kendra had thought about sending a message to congratulate her at the time but hadn’t wanted to start up communication. She’d felt too vulnerable then and now time had passed. Determined to move on, she hadn’t followed the news since.
She put her phone in her drawer and headed out of the hut. They had their own important event to attend: the official opening of the elephant conservation project. She wondered what Sarah would make of it and dismissed the unhelpful thought immediately. She headed out of the hut and towards the pontoon for the longtail boat. Their departing guests had taken the earlier boat. Kendra and Malee would be back before the new guests arrived. Normally, Kendra would spend the changeover day running around, clearing up, and making ready for the new arrivals, but Kim Cheng had brought in two cousins to help. The niggle that came with feeling redundant called to her to stay and make sure everything was done properly. It wasn’t a matter of trust; it was about feeling needed and valued and having something to distract her from the lingering doubt over her decision not to go back to England with Sarah.What if?She closed her eyes and imagined what it would be like at Sarah’s side and in her bed. The latter appealed; the former filled her with dread. Eventually, she’d stop wanting to feel Sarah’s touch. Maybe.
“Well, look at you, all dressed up,” Malee said and wolf whistled.
Kendra wore the only pair of lightweight cotton trousers she possessed and a loose-fitting white shirt with black Converse. The decision hadn’t been a difficult one, though she had been tempted to pinch something from Malee’s more extensive wardrobe. In the end she’d settled for comfort rather than Malee’s sense of fashion. It was a jungle after all, even if this was one of the biggest occasions to take place in the region in the last decade. She stepped into the front of the boat and sat opposite Malee, facing the direction they would be heading to catch the light breeze on her face. Their guide started the motor and eased them forwards.
“What do you think about running some women-only camps?” Malee asked as they cruised across the lake. “You know, for a personal development retreat kind of thing. We’ve got everything we need for it: adventure training activities, the jungle, a natural living environment, locally grown produce. I think it would sell really well.”
“I have a vision of our guests sat around the firepit of an evening, drinking your hooch and spilling their sorry life stories.”
Malee laughed. “We could make herbal smoothies to combat stress and increase concentration. I’ve seen recipes.”
