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“I didn’t, Gabriela. I packed them on the doorstep.”
God help us getting through London.Her thumping head told her it was mid-morning already and quizzed her as to what had happened to the coffee. She stared longingly at the blue neon light of Caffé Nero as they drove past. A jittery feeling in her stomach prompted her to ask the driver to stop, but that wasn’t on the itinerary, and Nana wouldn’t like it if they strayed from their detailed travel plan.
Thirty minutes later and they were right on schedule, parked up outside St David’s station with their bags sat in a line on the path. “Wait here and I’ll go and find a trolley.” Gabi said.
“Yes, cariño.”
The distinctive coffee aroma called Gabi to the counter, and she ordered two double espressos. If Nana didn’t want hers, Gabi would happily have both. Drinks in hand, she headed towards the trolley park. It wasn’t easy juggling the two cardboard cups with a trolley that had a persistent lean to the left. What was it with bloody trolleys and wheels? With the determination of her craving-inspired body, she made it to the place she’d left Nana and their luggage, next to the lamp post just outside the station’s main entrance where the taxi had dropped them off. Exactly where Nana should have been waiting for her. So where the hell was she? Where was their luggage? The absence of caffeine enhanced her worst fears and with a racing heart, she searched among the increasing number of travellers that occupied the path in front of the building. There wasn’t a pink fuchsia hat in sight and the more she looked, the stronger the anxiety bit. “Fucking hell, Nana. Where are you?”
“Language, Gabriela.”
Gabi turned to see Nana approach pushing their bags on a trolley. Gabi took a deep breath and her heartbeat started to slow, and then the fire rose inside her again. “Where did you go? You can’t just wander off like that.”
“A nice young man gave me his trolley. He was very helpful and polite. And those are rare qualities these days. So I took him to the notice board, the one with the local attractions advertised on it. He was very grateful.”
Gabi ran her fingers through her hair, pulled at the roots and took a couple more deep breaths. She forced a smile, and the trembling in her stomach eventually abated.
Nana patted her hand. “Come on, Gabriela, we haven’t got time to stand around. I don’t want to miss the train.”
She turned the trolley like a pro and headed towards the station. If she hadn’t wanted to get her pound back on principle, she would have dumped it right there. “I got you a coffee,” Gabi said, balancing the two cups as she did battle with the trolley to get it back into the station building.
“You drink it, cariño. You look like you need it, and my hands are full.”
“Stay close to me,” Gabi said and wondered if she was taking her chaperone role too seriously. Nana’s arms were at full stretch, and she was puffing like she had a forty-a-day habit. This level of exercise was likely to cause a heart attack and land them in A&E at the Exeter hospital rather than sunny Spain. “Slow down.”
They reached the trolley park, and Gabi claimed her pound with satisfaction. She downed both coffees swiftly and inhaled deeply as the caffeine lit her up. They made their way to the platform.
“Stay here until I’ve loaded the luggage,” Gabi said. The last thing she needed was for Nana to wander off again. This trip already felt like a labour of love, and she was beginning to wonder if she shouldn’t have given her participation more considered thought. When the whistle blew and the train eased out of the station, she breathed a deep sigh of relief. She’d grab a nap in the three and a half hours it would take to get to London.
“What are we going to have for breakfast?” Nana asked.
Gabi would swear that Nana had waited until her eyes had shut before asking. She sat up and yawned from the weight of the tiredness that descended upon her. Nana hugged her coat and hat in her lap. Gabi’s heart warmed. She was wearing the butterfly brooch Gabi had made for her birthday. “What do you fancy?” she asked.
“I don’t know what there is.”
“I don’t have a clue either. Something plastic, probably.”
“Can you go to the buffet car, please, Gabriela, and find out?”
Gabi would rather not have to run back and forth, but it seemed that was what she’d signed up for. Nana stared out of the window as they sped through the countryside, her hand trembling in her lap, and it occurred to Gabi what might be going through her mind. Was this the last time Nana would see this place? “Would you like me to put your coat and hat on the rack?” she asked as she stood.
Nana didn’t take her attention from the scenery as she handed up the clothing. “Thank you.”
Gabi made her way slowly through the four carriages to the buffet car to give herself time to process the sadness that had taken her by surprise. Nana hadn’t given her any other reasons for the trip than when she’d announced it. Gabi supposed she wanted to see how Granada had changed since she was there and make peace with her parents’ place of rest. Old people liked to reminisce and get closure on stuff, she guessed. Did Nana want to be buried with them? Gabi had never asked because it had never occurred to her that Nana would ever die.
It didn’t matter how many times she studied the food options at the counter, it all looked unappetising. The woman behind the counter was called Sally, according to the badge sitting on a slant across the top of her right breast. Sally was a bright, cheery name, but that didn’t translate to the woman’s sullen appearance, which was a shame. She would be pretty if she smiled. On her second walk through the carriages to collect the food, Gabi noticed the other travellers, most in grey suits. Some read newspapers while others had their eyes shut. But for the thunderous rattle of the train, there was a dull kind of silence inside, an absence of joy, reaffirming Gabi’s hatred of public transport. That was one of the positives of working in a bar. Everyone seemed happy, if not before a few drinks, then definitely afterwards. She was glad she’d never commuted for work. People looked so miserable. Why would she want to waste so many hours travelling for a job when she could be doing better things with her time, like chilling out?
Nana nibbled her bacon sandwich. She didn’t comment on its taste, probably because there wasn’t any. Gabi downed her third double espresso of the day and set to work on the ham, cheese, and pickle sandwich. It felt like lunchtime, and not only did she need to take the edge off the caffeine, but she was also ravenous.
“Promise me one thing,” Nana said.
“What?”
“That you will make something of this trip?” She closed her hand around Gabi’s and squeezed.
“Like what?”
“You have an opportunity, Gabriela. You are creative, and your talent was wasted at that bar.”
Nana’s hand was warm and soft and Gabi’s clammy. Gabi frowned. She hadn’t thought about anything beyond taking care of Nana. “I’ll do my best.”
“I worry for you,” Nana said softly.
“There’s nothing to worry about.” Gabi stared out the window. This wasn’t a conversation she was expecting, or willing, to have. Not now, nor at any time. She didn’t need nagging about something she was acutely aware of.
“You are young. You should be happy.”
“I’m fine,” Gabi said and pulled her hand from Nana’s. She hadn’t realised Nana had noticed. Gabi’s rebuff had been weak, and Nana’s sigh telling. She had the urge to lash out, though at what or who she didn’t know, and for what, she didn’t understand. She couldn’t remember when she’d last felt truly happy, but if she were to guess it would have been when she had been living with Nana at the farmhouse and before she’d fallen in love for the first time.
