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11
Talia
“Does watchingme suffer really make you that happy?” Drew asked, completely snapping me out of myreverie.
I shook my head and sniffled as tears came to myeyes.
“Dammit. And now I made you cry? Talia, you’re killing me. Only one of us can melt down at a time, okay? And I’m calling my turn.” He pointed to the door. “You saw that guy out there. I’m really struggling rightnow.”
I nodded, almost too emotional to speak. “I know. I’m…you’re…you asked for help.” I sniffled again and Drew sighed as he searched his jacket for thehandkerchief.
“If you’re going to do this often, you might consider keeping some of the Kleenex travel packs in your purse.” He jerked his chin toward myclutch.
“Tissues don’t really go with this bag,” I joked. “Besides. I have a feeling if we spend much more time together, this whole crying thing won’t happen so much.” Ishrugged.
“If you say so. Right now, I’m unconvinced.” Drew ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes while he inhaleddeeply.
“Listen, this is huge. Do you have any idea what an enormous step you’ve taken?” I raised my hands over my head. “Huge. This ishuge.”
“I tell you I need drugs and this is a big step? To me, it feels like a step alright: a step backwards.” He leaned on my shoulder. “I should be stronger than that. I should be able to do this.” Then he growled. “Who am I kidding? I’m the weakest one in thegroup.”
“Are you?” I frowned. “I don’t see it. I really don’t. To me, being able to admit you need support is a big deal.” I blew out a breath. “My sister could never do that. She refused to admit she had a problem. My parents never sent her to rehab. They constantly covered for her and smoothed over her problems. She was doomed.” I stared at the carpet while I tried to forget the past which continued to haunt me. Soon, Drew’s arms were around me and I was burying my head in his neck, soaking in his wholly masculine scent, a combination of deodorant andcologne.
“So, you’re proud of me?” he askedquietly.
I sat up and smiled at him. “I’m ridiculously proud ofyou.”
Drew swallowed hard. “I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone say that before, not even my parents.” He frowned as he stared into my eyes. “There were plenty of demands for perfection, but never did I get a pat on the back. Somewhere along the way, I stopped trying, and I wanted to stop feeling. Their disappointment hung over me like a dark cloud, until I lived in perpetualdarkness.”
“That makes perfect sense. It’s a waste of energy trying to please people who can’t be impressed. What makes you happy,Drew?”
“Wow. That’s a tough question.” He hesitated a split second before responding. “I don’t know.” Then he stared at thefloor.
“Did you just try to lie to me? I can see it in your eyes. You know. You’re afraid to tell me. Don’t be.” I smiled in a way I hoped would inspire histrust.
“I’m going to sound so shallow,” hecomplained.
I groaned. “Everyone already knows you’re shallow. Own it. Make something ofit.”
At first I was afraid I’d gone too far with the teasing, but instead, Drew finally chuckled. “You’re right.” He sat up and stretched. “I think I want to start a magazine, both web and traditionalversions.”
My eyes widened. “That’s incredibly ambitious. I love the idea. What would it beabout?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know exactly, maybe a variety of things. You know how there’s Southern Living, and it’s pretty much a lifestyle magazine, allsouthern?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Well, like that. Only for the wealthy or those who admire the wealthy.” He slouched slightly. “I think I should focus on what I know, what I love, what I care about. So, travel, reviews of spas, restaurants, the latest shows, hotels, architecture, design, fashion, that kind of thing. And not monthly, but bi-monthly, at least at first as I get used to it.” Drew watched me carefully for areaction.
“How long have you been thinking of this?” I tilted my head and studiedhim.
“The last ninety days,” he joked. “I had a lot of free time on my hands. And I started thinking about how I needed a purpose, but I wanted to follow my passions. This pretty much encompasses all of it.” Drew shrugged. “It’s not like I have to find funding. I could hire some people who actually studied this stuff. I’d decide what we cover, act as the editor orsomething.”
I reached out and took his hand in mine. “I think this is a brilliant idea. Really, I do. And if you can offer subscriptions at a reasonable price, you’ll be hugely successful.” Leaning back, I smiled. “You can make thishappen.”
Drew grinned. “It’s because ofyou.”
I frowned. “You came up with this idea long before you ever knewme.”
