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Chapter 16
In the pursuit of hoppiness
“This is going to be epic!” I throw my hands in the air and shout, “Yee-haw!”
“I knew I should have gone with a bridal shower instead of a bachelorette party,” Hailey grouches.
Phoebe giggles. “Because Suzie wouldn’t have planned anything crazy for a bridal shower?”
“You’re right. What was I thinking?”
“I’m going to say you weren’t thinking at all when you made Suzie your maid of honor and told her she could plan a bachelorette party.”
I place my hands on my hips and glower at the two Debbie Downers. “You do know I can hear you, right?”
“Yes!” they shout in unison before collapsing on the sofa in giggles.
“What are you complaining about? I didn’t make the condom crown.”
Hailey caught me researching how to make a condom crown while at work and lost her ever-loving mind. She finally calmed down when I promised on my next batch of Session IPA to not make her wear one. I considered making another novelty crown – I found this hilarious penis crown – but I was a good girl and bought a simple bling crown with the word bride on it.
“And I didn’t make you wear some stupid outfit.” Trust me. I considered it. The matching Baywatch outfits were already in my shopping basket when I discovered the t-shirts we’re currently wearing.
I gesture to Hailey’s t-shirt with the inscription Brews before I do’s. It’s freaking adorable. I already ordered a second one for Phoebe’s party.
Phoebe raises her hand. “I for one am very happy with the t-shirts.” She’s wearing one saying Bride’s Brew Crew in pink. I have the same one on except mine’s maroon.
“Okay,” Hailey gives in. “You have restrained yourself thus far. What are we doing tonight?”
We’re currently gathered at my house. Aiden and Ryker are in the kitchen eavesdropping on our conversation. I swivel around to glare at them. They don’t bother pretending to not have been listening. I point at them.
“You guys are not coming.”
Aiden puts his arms on his hips in an effort to look intimidating. Keep trying, dude. “Why? Are you doing something illegal?”
I snort. “Try your cop voice on someone else. I am not falling for it.”
Ryker crosses his arms and tries his luck at intimidation tactics. Seriously? Does he not realize I know he’s a great big teddy bear? “You guys will ruin all our fun.”
Hailey nudges me with her foot. “Just tell them what we’re doing. I’m sure they’ll calm down when they realize we’re going to the male stripper show.”
“You told me you didn’t want to go!” I cry. I’ve spent loads of time setting up tonight’s entertainment because she flat out refused to watch male erotic dancers.
Aiden barrels into the room and picks her up from the sofa. “If you go to a stripper show, I’ll spank your ass when you get home.”
Hailey bats her eyelashes. “Then, as long as we do another activity, other than going to the stripper show, you’ll be okay with it?”
The woman is a genius. A genius I tell you!
Aiden grunts. “Yes.” She pushes for him to let her down.
Once he’s back in the kitchen, I announce, “We’re having a bachelorette scavenger hunt.”
I hand them each a scorecard with a list of actions and the points each action is worth. It’s all fun and somewhat embarrassing stuff like kissing a stranger, getting a guy to give you a condom, asking someone to marry you. Stuff like that.
“Hey big guy, can I touch your muscles?” Phoebe shouts her question in the direction of the kitchen.
“Oh, can we go to McGraw’s? I’m going to kick ass at this.”
