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How fucking poetic.
This must be my lucky day.
CHAPTERNINE
MORRIGAN
“Jesus, you scared me, woman. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you wearing that wig. I thought you couldn’t come tonight.” Lulu sits back in the desk chair, a little rattled from my sudden presence in the office, as I pull off the mask.
“I managed to escape another grueling, show-off dinner. He got a call. I’m telling you, it’s harder and harder to get away from him.” I crash onto the sofa, resisting the urge to rub a hand over my freshly made-up face. I didn’t need to draw the inky cat eye on my lid, or roll the mascara over my eyelashes, but sometimes the makeup serves as a switch to a different version of myself. A better one at times. Not the one that seems to have lost all levels of courage, or self-respect, in Ryan’s presence.
He’s scarier nowadays, that madness much more prominent, much harsher on his features.
“Did he do something?” Lulu leans over her desk, a slight tremble in her golden eyes.
“Not really. At this point, I’m sure he has a mistress somewhere. Wait. Is it a mistress if I’m thankful for it?”
“Probably not.” She leans back into the chair. “So he didn’t…”
“Not more than the usual slimy touches, grabbing my ass, my jaw…” There’s more, but I don’t burden her with the rest. Luckily, he seems to take any sexual tension he may hold out on someone else. It doesn’t make me feel less like a victim, though. And I hate that, so fucking much… the idea of being a victim, even though a little voice in my head tells me I’m not worthy of the title.
I have to hold tight. I know The Serpent is on it, even though I haven’t seen the bastard since the crossroads. But I have to trust him, and I know this game is too complex for the results to be immediate.
“I just…” Lulu huffs. “I don’t know how you do it, Morri. I don’t get it. How can you take it? You’re not yourself with him, at least I don’t recognize you. Do you? You are a fucking force of nature, yet next to him, you’re barely a broken leaf carried around by a breeze. How is he doing it?”
Fuck… I wish I could explain in a way that doesn’t make me sound as if I’m wallowing in self-pity. Sometimes I can’t make sense of it either. He doesn’t really touch me, beyond the occasional grabbing, maybe pushing me against a wall, but it’s his words that cut. The threats, the degradation, unworthiness… constant waves of it. Like I’m floating in the middle of the sea and his rough waters bash me, over and over, with no time to breathe. I can’t explain, can’t make sense of it.
I wish I could confess my suspicion, one that he hasn’t confirmed yet, and that would make her look at me so differently. Her, The Sanctum, this club, are the only things keeping me afloat. Everything else is just… internal pain, causing a numbness I cannot shake.
“I don’t want you involved, Lu. The less you know, the better. I love you too much to get you involved in this. But it’s being handled.”
“By The Sanctum.” She crosses her arms against her deep cleavage, over the tank top made of thin chain-link she wears, yet I can’t tell if there’s anything underneath covering her boobs.
“By The Sanctum.”
“You made a fucking deal with the devil, Morri, and I fear you’ve sold your soul to him. I fear he’s yet another man taking something from you. The Serpent, The Sanctum, they don’t give anything away for free.”
I laugh, because this is just fitting. “May I remind you that The Serpent is the first man ever to take something from me?”
“You’re right. You were such different people back then that somehow I forget it happened. It’s quite interesting how he suddenly appeared back into your life… when you needed him most.”
Funny… yeah.I’ve been thinking the same thing. The timing is impeccable.
“I’m not gonna complain, he’s useful now. Just… please, as I said before, do not whisper a word of this to Luke. No one can know of my involvement with him. It could ruin everything.”
Lulu nods, bracing herself against the desk. “You have my word.” She rises and I notice the chain-link is actually a dress, the hem right under her ass.
“Jesus, doesn’t your ass hurt when you sit?”
“Not gonna lie, it wasn’t meant for sitting. Wanna get a drink? Watch a show?” she asks as she offers me her hand.
“Yes to both.”
“Let me see you!” She steps back, running her gaze over the see-through circle dress that covers a lingerie set made more of straps than fabric, the panties rising in a V to my waist, while the biggest piece of fabric of the bra covers my nipples only. “Morri, you look like you want to play tonight!”
I’m quite exposed, I know… fairly unusual for me. Plus, I never wear dresses this short, or this transparent.
“Nah, you know me, I love watching much, much more.” I wink at her and she blushes. “If I ever find the right person, maybe I will test out the equipment, but the chances are slim to none. Either way, this club is not for me, it’s for them.” I nod toward the door.
