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Right? Fuck… too many games are being played and right now I feel like a pawn in all of them… but not a player.
He stops near the bed, and she swings her legs over the edge, then slides off it until she’s on her knees, her ass on her heels and hands on his belt.
“What the hell are you doing, Ryan?” My body suddenly breaks out of this strange spell, and I rush toward the door.
“If you dare step out of this room, I’ll fucking cut your head off and deliver it to Loreley myself. Then I’ll fucking cut hers off too.”
Shit.
“Come in and shut that door.”
The blond kneeling in front of him is not phased one bit. She continues her task as she looks up at him, unbuttoning his pants, one hand straight to his cotton-covered dick, rubbing slowly up and down.
She’s definitely a professional.
“Jasmine here is going to do for me what you refuse to.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes. “Well, shucks. Am I supposed to be sad about that?”
“Until we’re married,” he cuts me off. “Until those hips get smaller and that belly flatter. I think the wedding preparations have stressed you out a bit too much and you put a few extra pounds on top of the existing extra ones. Until then, you will sit here and watch.” Jasmine has his dick out and in her mouth by the time he finishes that sentence.
I blink more times than I should, forcing away those hot tears that threaten to sear their way out. It’s impossible to settle on one feeling, too many running through me, my chest burning as I swallow each and every tear away. I’m not even sure why I’m shedding them. I don’t love him anymore…
Idon’tlove him anymore.
I don’t love him!
Then why the fuck does it hurt? Why does it feel like he’s ripping apart even more than he already has? Why does it feel exactly like it’s not supposed to?
Because I cared about him… I thought he cared about me too.
“You’re sick,” I manage to whisper in a shaky voice.
“Maybe. But you’re going to stand there and be sick with me.” He grins, grabbing the woman’s hair and gagging her violently with his dick.
I turn my head toward the window, wondering what the fuck my life has come to, why am I here, why does it hurt, when will it stop…
“Don’t you fucking dare take your eyes off. Look at me now!” he rasps as I hear the woman gag yet again.
I do as he says, all thoughts slowly dissipating… one by one, they leave me… until my features are void of feeling, until my muscles are limp, until… I’m but an empty shell.
Or so I wish to be.
I want to be void of any trace of emotion I’ve ever had for this man. I’m not sure where it hurts. Is it my soul, or my ego? It definitely isn’t my heart… I just never thought that his disrespect for me would reach such lows.
Yet, the man threatened to kill my whole family and my best friend if I even dared to leave him. Why am I shocked by what lies before me? Quite literally, as Ryan pulled her up by the hair and laid her on the bed. He flips her over, pulling her ass up, then fists her blond locks while throwing me the sleaziest smile he can muster. Then he impales her on a savage move, and her scream makes me cringe. I can’t even tell if it’s in pleasure or actual pain.
He does it over, and over, and over again… his eyes on me the whole time, guiding her by the hair so she can look at me too.
I’m forcing myself to control the bile in my throat.
I’ve watched plenty of people have sex in the club in Rosston, and I fucking own one now, yet this… this is different. It’s malice; revenge; evil. This is a man I’ve been with for almost two years, I’ve cared about him, we’ve known each other from school… But he’s also the man that at this very moment carries in his gaze the promise that he will do to me exactly what he’s doing to her.
Only I will not be willing; and he will not care.
This helps, though. This moment right here… I should thank him for it. It pushes me over the edge, killing off that part of me that still believed there was hope for the old him to return, that this period was only some sort of temporary madness.
It’s not. It’s just madness.
