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I had him… for a moment, a split moment, I had him. He was mine. He came back to me. Even when I didn’t want him, he came back to me.
There’s an aching pressure in my chest, causing tears to fall in waves. The stone walls of the back room of the church absorb my whimpers, my pain filling this room that should be filled with happy memories, with a sorrow that only seems to grow.
I opened a dam… and I cannot seem to stop it.
“She is my sister! You will let me in now, or I’ll make sure that old mausoleum at the back will have a new inhabitant!” Cillian’s voice sounds from the other side of the heavy wooden door, which separates this room from the corridor that leads to the main room of the old church.
The wood creaks as one of the doors opens, and I quickly swipe a sleeve over my eyes, getting up from the chair to go to the window.
I don’t think my brother has seen me cry since I was seven. I fractured my wrist punching one of my father’s friends who told me that since I’m a girl, I should smile more, otherwise boys won’t like me. I’ve rarely heard him laugh the way he did that day, not at me, or at me being hurt, but… my reaction. There was pride in that laugh, and it was the only thing that encouraged me to be brave in the emergency room. My parents didn’t come… they had company.
I don’t know what happened to us. To him.
“How are you, Morri?” I don’t quite recognize the tone of his voice. There’s a level of care in there that I’m not sure if I should take as manipulation.
“Peachy, brother.”
I don’t turn as I hear him walk away from me. What is he doing?
I peek to my right and he’s inside the small bathroom at the end of the room, signaling me to come in. I narrow my eyes at him, and finally make a move when he rolls his eyes at me. When I walk in, he turns on the tap to the max, and comes closer. Not touching, though. My brother never really touches anyone, for that matter.
“He has not been found at the house,” he whispers as my eyes widen, my heart beginning to race.
“What? What the hell are you talking about?” I almost rasp at him.
“I’ve spoken with his friend,” he cuts me off, whispering again and signaling me to do the same. “I gave him an address for the man that is responsible. He might be there.”
Vincent… he’s talking about Vincent and Maddox. I clutch the shirt over my heart, somehow more at ease than I was thirty seconds ago. If he wasn’t at the house, maybe…fuck…maybe he’s not gone. However…
“Why are you tellingmethis, brother?”
He blinks, once… twice… three times, then sighs, hidden pain in those light blue eyes. “Because I know that when I abandoned you… you found help elsewhere. Plus, the friend told me to let you know. I put two and two together.”
I felt utterly betrayed by my brother; no matter our distance, we had only each other… and then I had only myself. He has barely been present in this affair, never really lending a hand apart from some fleeting words of encouragement. And suddenly, he’s helping The Sanctum.
“You really aren’t aligned with… them”—I nod toward the door—“are you?!”
He shakes his head once, his eyes fixed on mine.
“I was never given any reasons not to trust Dad. Not until… recently.” He seems to drift to a dark place in his mind. “Only the man knows too much about me. Controls too much. And myarmyis not big enough to take Ryan, to ensure that Dad doesn’t find someone else to continue the same sickening business. So I reached out to… one of the onesyouassociate with now.”
“Did you?! When?!” Vincent didn’t tell me any of this.
“A few days ago, after some of Dad’s and Ryan’s affairs started crumbling. Just after, I planned to come and break you out, only to find out that you were already out. We met, and I was told they were waiting for the last of the group to discuss. Only he was… unavailable.” There’s a tinge of a smile at the corner of his mouth, and I could have sworn I felt the rush of a blush on my cheeks.
“You wanted to save me…”
“Too late, it seems. And you had to rely on someone else…”
An uncomfortable silence falls between us. I cannot blame him, yet he is not without fault either.
“Why didn’t you run away?” He finally breaks that silence.
“Like you, brother, the man controls too much… he held too many things against me. Including you.”
“Me?!”
I nod. “If I was to suddenly disappear from his life, he would kill you all; you, Mother, Father… Lulu. But as you can imagine, at this point I don’t care much about Mother or Father.”
