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I try to get up, but in the next second, he flips me over with another kick to my belly and the first thing I see is his black snow boot sitting heavily at the base of my throat. My gaze follows his jeans covered leg, up to his blood-soaked groin, to his heaving chest and straight into his eyes. So dark and evil, I know for sure, if I don’t escape now, this is my end. There is no doubt about it, no denying it, this is my end.
He is pushing me down with his foot, constricting my airways as he presses harder and I grab onto it with both hands, panic starting to settle in my gut. There is a sick grin on his face and I recognize it.
So I do the only thing that feels natural at this moment.
I scream.
I scream as hard as I fucking can and before I know it I’m screaming forhim…
NIKLAS
She’s screaming my name…myname.
There’s so much in that voice, in the way every sound of each letter forms my name. There’s pain, desperation, fear, so much fucking fear, but… hidden between the pain-filled lyrics of my siren’s song there is hope. I canfeelit all.
And as my heavy steps hit the ground, I wonder how it’s possible for me to feel all that. Before her, in other women, I could feel the fear and only that, but when Suki screams… I feel everything, every single emotion painted in her songs. Every. Single. One.
I was already running fast, but now, if it’s even possible, I run even faster, holding the rifle from hitting my back, clutching it so hard, I could fucking bend the metal.
Suddenly, the siren’s song stops, and I realize that for the first time in my life I actually feel fear.
Fear for what I’m going to find when I finally get to her.
Fear for what it’s going to do to me.
Fear… for my fucking future.
I went off the trail to follow her scream and after what seemed like hours, I finally caught a new one through the snow. It looks different, it doesn’t look like someone walked on this path.
The motherfucker dragged her!
Dropping on one knee with one fluid motion, I grab the rifle, pop the scope against my eye and look ahead as far as I can. There’s nothing. I follow the trail with the scope, but there’s no one there. I get up and keep going, perfectly aware that I’m out in the open and if that motherfucker has a gun, he could shoot me at any time. I have to take the risk though, I know I have to.
I follow the trail through the silence of the dark woods until it stops. It actually fucking ends, and as I look around and take in the way the snow looks, I can feel my blood boiling, anger seeping through my veins at the realization that the motherfucker did to me exactly what I did to him when I saved Suki. He covered his motherfucking tracks just as I did. I know that the moment I have him in my hands, I will rip him apart, limb from motherfucking limb while he flails in front of me.
There’s no time to waste, the forest is too silent, and the loss of her song is felt heavily, even the air is missing it. The night vision of the rifle is the only thing that saves me right now, giving me enough light to try and identify where the snow looks different, where the trail was covered.
I pick up faint marks in this sea of white that look like they could be it, even though they’re already covered in fresh snow. I go for it, but with the scope against my eye, I can’t run.
Probably around half an hour later, I hear something, a shift through the trees, and I throw myself on the ground just as I hear a loud gunshot and feel a burn in my left arm.
Motherfucker shot me!
Getting up on one knee, I keep as low as possible behind the thick snow, and I grab the rifle, trying to get a good look through the scope. To the right of the path, in the far distance, I see him, running away.
I aim and shoot, just as he takes a sharp left, narrowly avoiding the bullet.
Son of a bitch.
Aiming for his legs again, I shoot. This time I know that I at least grazed him because he screams for just a second but keeps going. I get on my feet, and just as I’m about to run after him, I hear a weak moan in the opposite direction.
Fuck! Suki…
I have no choice, I follow the moan until I reach her, cursing as I look at her unconscious, frail frame sprawled on the freezing ground. A soft, thin layer of fresh snow covers her body. She has a sweater on and my mother’s boots, but her legs are naked.
Dropping on my knees next to her, I look through the scope scanning the area around us. I can’t see him anymore. I realize now that the shot he fired was random, he didn’t shoot to kill, he shot to slow me down so he could escape.
No matter. I know where the motherfucker lives; I will find him, and he is going to fucking pay.
I gather her cold body into my arms, and she moans again. She sniffs the air in her confused, dazed state and suddenly her small hands grab onto my jacket, trying as hard as she fucking can to bury herself deeper into my body, like she’s attempting to make a hole and crawl inside of me. I tense.
When she’s satisfied that she’s gotten as close as she possibly can, her whole body relaxes; she’s soft and comfortable… She fits, in my strong arms, her small delicate hands holding on to me for dear life, her head nestling in the crook of my neck.
She fucking fits! Damn it!
