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So warm…
Our legs are tangled, his right arm holding me tight against his body and at this moment there is nothing possessive about his touch. There is comfort… safety… fear… fear of loss.
Is it mine or his?
They flood my mind again—the dreams. They stopped the moment he brought me here, in his house. They stopped when I saw the demons in his eyes.
The fear is mine…
“Mmm?” I hear his questioning moan and tilt my head as best as I can to look up at him.
Have I been thinking out loud again?
His eyes are moving gently and when he opens them, he squeezes my body until I let out a strained breath. Like a child squeezes a kitten because he does not know when it is too much.
I look into his sleepy eyes as he gazes into mine silently and his demons calm me, they tell me what I need to know… My dreams stopped because they came true.
I understand why he did what he did this morning and as much as my conscience rejected it, I knew what it meant. My mind reveled in it, my heart burned with happiness, my soul sang and my body… my body welcomed it all.
He needed to bare part of his soul to me, force me to see it in a way that would make me fear him. He needed to show me his cravings, the relentless need for control and power, for drawing pain and even blood, my blood. But the fear… he needs it like I need to be hunted.
It wasn’t about some BDSM play. No. It was about hunger. A hunger he feels that I need to sate as well; I just never expected to be so ravenous.
I cannot explain it, I probably will never be able to, but he understands my demons, he knows what I crave. My body sings and he learned the song, almost like he knew it before it even played. When he touches me it feels like he is reading Morse code on my skin.
He does not talk much, but he feels, I can tell by the way his eyes move slowly and gently all over my features, I could tell by his calm breathing when he paddled my pussy, when he finger fucked me until I felt like I could split open in pain and burst into flames of desire at the same time… when the knife touched my skin.
He might be a monster, but he is my kind of monster. He is the one that haunted my dreams for so long. He draws fear out of my soul, but I crave this fear. I crave the destruction of my soul that his monstrous, unfaltering gaze promises.
I fight him because it is my nature, it is what I crave, what my soul desires and he knows it. However, now that I have it… now that I know what it means… now that I know how all these cravings feel when they are sated… this relinquishing of power and control… Do I want it?
Do I risk my soul to sate this eternal desire?
I pull my gaze away from his and bury my head between his thick pecs, closing my eyes and forcing my mind to feel anything else. It is not easy, not when just days ago I was running away from another monster through these woods, only to end up running from a different one now.
*ding ding*
My body jolts at the sound. I feel Niklas sighing ever so slightly before he releases me from his strong yet comforting hold and turns around.
A phone… of course…
After months trapped underground, it is interesting how I almost forgot about all these… comforts. I think about it, the phone, calling for help, but who would I call? And do I really wish to be saved anymore?
He picks it up and reads something before he gets up, sitting on the bed. He looks at me, contemplating something for a couple of seconds before he swipes the screen and lifts the phone to his ear. He does not break our gaze, and I just lie here, covered in the thick duvet, watching him.
“Morning,” he answers.
There is silence for a few seconds.
“I don’t give a fuck.”
Silence, but his gaze darkens.
“You don’t need to know what happens next, stop asking the fucking questions if you can’t know the answers.”
I am curious about his conversation, of course I am; however, he is still watching me, and I feel like I am intruding. Turning on my belly, I clutch the pillow under my head and turn my gaze to the large floor to ceiling windows that overlook the terrace and the gorgeous view.
The sun is higher in the sky and the beauty of this landscape takes my breath away. As I take a slow deep breath, I feel a smile touching my eyes and the thick duvet slowly sliding off my body. I twitch ever so slightly, but I feel my skin prickle with anticipation.
