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“About a year ago the surrogate program called. They wanted to remove me from their database. For some reason I told them not to, and the more I thought about it the more I realized I still wanted to do this for someone.” I swallowed, bitterly. “Eventually I realized, that someone was Jocelyn.”
Elliot cleared his throat. His nod of understanding made me hopeful. “You wanted to do this for your sister.”
“Yes,” I replied simply. “Not just in memory of her, butbecauseof her. I figured following through and actually bringing life into this world — as long as I didn’t have to be responsible for it — would help me get over what happened to her. It would finally close that last chapter. Complete this circle that’s stood open-ended for so long.”
The guys sat there in silence, bearing the emotional weight of everything I’d just told them. They looked even more drained than when they’d first sat down.
“That story…” Aiden swore, shaking his head in awe. “It makes you the strongest fucking person I’ve ever met.”
“A-fucking right,” Connor chimed in.
“But I’m not done.”
Elliot stiffened beside me. All three men’s eyes went so wide it was almost funny.
“I want to be your surrogate and carry this baby for you,” I said simply. “I want to carry it for me. For Jocelyn. For the three amazing fathers I already know you’re all going to be.”
They looked at each other helplessly now, like they’d disappointed me or something. Each of them not sure what to say.
“We’ll get back on track,” said Aiden hesitantly. “Eventually. If not with Sherri, then with—”
“I definitely want to be your surrogate,” I repeated calmly. One by one, I met their gazes with mine. My smile came more easily than I thought it would.
“But if the three of you will have me, I’d also like to be your egg donor, too.”
Twenty-One
ELLIOT
Her last few words dropped with the weight of a thousand planets into the silent room. Two seconds ticked by. Four. Six…
“YES.”
All eyes shifted to me, having said the word. Jordyn looked excited. Her glassy eyes were bright now, her face alive with emotion.
“Yes,” I said again, this time turning toward Aiden and Connor. “I think we’d actuallylovethat. Wouldn’t we?”
They responded by rising from the couch, then throwing their arms around her at the same time. It was a gesture of love, of faith. Of everything that seemed righteous and good.
“Really?” Jordyn asked tearfully. “Youwantme?”
“Are you kidding,” asked Connor, squeezing her tightly. “Afterthat?”
Aiden brushed her hair back, from where tears of joy were sticking to her face. “I couldn’t imagine a better match for us,” he smiled, squeezing her again once Connor was through. “In every possible way.”
We were all up by then, hugging and standing in the middle of the living area we’d made for her. Connor ran to the kitchen to fetch us some drinks. Aiden clasped my hand tightly, then pulled me against him in one of his infamous bro-hugs.
“I can’t believe you’re in,” he said, his voice low enough so that no one else could hear. “I mean… you usually—”
“Over-analyze everything?” I smirked.
“Fuck yeah.”
Jordyn was drying her eyes. I pulled her back into our little circle, creating all new tears in her eyes again.
“Sometimes you’re sure about something the very moment you see it,” I said, not taking my eyes from hers. “This is one of those times.”
Connor passed out a round of beers, and we toasted without making a toast. A dilemma had been solved. There was all new life now, where hope had faded.
