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“I can stay in the city, and you can have the house to yourself if you want. You don’t have to come to work anymore. I’ll hire another temp, and you can just concentrate on bringing our child into the world. You never have to see my face again if you don’t want.”
“Is that what you want?” she asked.
“This isn’t about what I want!” he shouted. “I’m asking you what you want. Do you want me to leave? Because I will, but you have to say it. You have to tell me to go.”
She didn’t want him to leave. Her heart ached at the thought of never seeing him again. She hoped once he saw their baby’s face, he would fall in love with him or her. It was possible the baby just wasn’t real to him yet. She prayed every night that he would love their child, if not both of them.
“What do you have against marriage?” she asked.
He looked taken aback by the question. “I don’t—”
“Don’t deny it. Everyone that knows you says you are the last guy they expected to get married. They all say you swore you didn’t want a wife or children, not in a million years, and I remember what you said about not settling for one woman. Something about how you like variety. I’m just curious. What do you have against marriage?”
His turn to walk away. He went to his den, and she followed after pouring her warm milk into a glass. She rounded the hallway corner to find him sitting behind his desk with another drink in his hand. The liquid was clear this time, not amber. When Chase started drinking vodka, he was having serious issues.
For a moment, she hung out in the doorway and marveled at all the things she’d learned about him since their quickie wedding in Vegas. She knew his favorite foods, his pet peeves, and his nightly routine. She knew a great many small details about him, but she didn’t know why he hated the idea of marriage so much.
“My mother married my father for money,” he said in a flat tone. “They didn’t love each other, and that was my introduction to marriage. Why would I want to have anything to do with the institution that kept my parents bickering day after day all through my childhood?”
“Just because they had a bad relationship that doesn’t mean you’ll have one.”
“My father told me repeatedly over the years that smart men took a mistress, not a wife. He often claimed that no matter how in love youthinkyou are, it fades, and then the woman takes half your money, half your business, half of everything. The only protection is to stay single.”
Katie’s jaw dropped. His father had brainwashed him against love when he was just a little boy. She wished the man was alive so she could tell him off for hurting Chase and making it nearly impossible for him to love anyone. She crossed the room to stand in front of his desk. “What about children? If you listened to him and didn’t get married, were you supposed to have children out of wedlock or not at all?”
“He never wanted kids.” Chase leaned back in his chair and put the vodka down. “He told me I was my mother’s idea, and my brother was an accident. He did admit to being glad he had someone to leave his empire to so it would survive him. That was his main concern.”
“But he made that codicil to force you to have a child. An heir. Why would he do that if he thought marriage and kids were a mistake?”
Chase made a sound of disgust. “There’s no telling what he was thinking. Maybe he realized his empire would die with me if I took his advice.”
“Or maybe he realized going through life without love, without a family, just isn’t a good way to live.”
“I suppose.” He swallowed the vodka in his glass with one large gulp. “What difference does it make? You and I are married. We’re having a baby. It doesn’t matter what my plans were. Things have changed.”
She compressed her lips in a tight line even though she wanted to push the issue. In the frame of mind Chase was in and with him drinking, she decided to stop talking about marriage. But she did want to answer his earlier question.
She circled the desk and sat on his lap. His arms went around her, but she wasn’t sure if it was romantic or if he was just trying to keep her from falling. While gazing into his eyes, she removed his loose tie. “I have an idea,” she said. “Maybe we should play boss and secretary one more time. It was fun.”
Surprise registered in his warm brown eyes a second before she covered his mouth with hers. The taste of liquor made her a little queasy. Maybe she should fix him a cup of coffee first. He took over the kiss, deepening it, and all thought evaporated as she melted against him.
Chapter Fifteen
She thumbed through a magazine in the doctor’s waiting room. Nerves taut, she wasn’t sure how much more waiting she could endure without losing her mind. Excitement and fear gripped her by the throat. She pretended to look at pictures in the magazine even though she wasn’t seeing them. It was better than making eye contact with the other waiting women. Her mind was laser-focused on the sonogram. What if something was wrong with the baby?
“You okay?” Chase asked.
She hadn’t wanted him to accompany her, but he’d insisted.
“Fine,” she lied. “How are you doing?”
He flashed his beautiful teeth at her. “To be honest, I’m a little nervous.”
“Just a little?” She snapped the magazine shut and tossed it on the nearby table. “I feel like I could shatter into a million pieces right now if I move too quickly or think too hard.”
Chase put a hand on her thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Everything is going to work out. You’ll see. The baby is healthy, and you’re perfect. That’s all we’re going to hear today. Good things.”
Now she was glad to have him with her. Even though a dozen bad possibilities swept through her mind at regular intervals, his words reassured her. When he said things were good, she believed him.
