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The sound of chatter and crashing about comes from elsewhere in the house, and as I look toward the door, I realize that the counters are full of party food.
“Have you made all this?”
“With my own fair hands,” Ellen says, focusing on what she’s doing.
“You’re wasted here.”
“Nah, I spent too many years catering. I love looking after you guys.”
“Really?” I ask incredulously. Even our own parents didn’t want to look after us, I find it hard to believe that a random woman wants to.
“Really. You’re not as bad as you try to make out, you know. I see you,” she says, looking over her shoulder and winking at me.
Shaking my head at her, I allow silence to descend as she cooks and the others get the house ready for this fucking party.
I’m in two minds as to whether I should hang around for it or disappear for the night. I do know one thing, though—I’m not going back to the Heights anytime soon. I still have no clue what the hell happened last night, but I’m not risking showing my face for a while. Donny is clearly after my blood for some reason. I know I missed a few messages from him, but sending Bruce after me seems a little much.
“Whoa, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes this morning, brother,” Conner announces as he and Cole join me at the table. “Remi finally seen the light and tried to knock some sense into you?”
“Oh yeah, this was totally R… her.” Fucking pussy, I can’t even say her fucking name.
The pain that ripped through my chest when I pulled out of her last night once again slices me in two as I think about her.
“Trouble in paradise?”
“Like you give a shit. You were betting on me fucking up from day one. Well, you were right, brother. Well done. I fucked it up.”
Pushing the chair out from behind me, I stalk to the door.
“Ace, your—” Ellen cuts herself off when I look up at her.
“That’s it. Run away like a fucking pussy.” Not wanting to hear any more from him, I turn the corner. “The girl fucking loves you, man. Pull your head out of your ass for once…” His words die as I get to the front door and fly down the stairs.
I can’t fucking be here right now as I watch them all get ready to celebrate her birthday. They’re all fucking delusional—Sarah for thinking she wants a bullshit party with people she can’t stand. People who make her feel less than she is. Ellen for thinking she can look after us like we’re her cute little boys. James for thinking this could ever fucking work.
We don’t belong here, and we never will.
Ignoring my bike, I take off across the garden. I take the same route we did the night we had our one and only party here, and before long the beach appears in front of me. Finding a soft bit of sand, I drop my ass to it.
I sit there for the longest time, just watching the waves crash in on the beach. A few people walk past, but no one really pays me any attention. Hell, I wouldn’t if I found a guy who looked like I do right now.
My cell vibrates in my pocket. A little bit of hope races through me that she’s going to try to fight for me, just like she did the last time I fucked up. But that thought is shattered the second I look at the screen and find Cole’s name staring back at me.
Cole: James wants you back before the party starts.
“Yeah, well James can go fuck himself,” I mutter to myself. All of this is his fault.
All of it.
I lie back and stare up at the clear blue sky above me. My mind spins as I think about our short time here and the events that led up to it.
I remember that night two weeks before Mom died like it was only yesterday. I was doing a drop for Donny. He’d sent me to some warehouse in the next town over that I’d never visited before. He’d told me to pull up in the parking lot and to wait. Someone would come to take the bag and then I was done until my next phone call.
It was an easy drop. I was relaxed and ready to head home to see what state I might find our mother and the trailer in. The last thing I was expecting was for a fucking ghost to appear from the shadows in front of me.
“Son,” he said as my eyes widened and I did a double take.
It had been years since I saw him, and although he was obviously older, I recognized him instantly.
