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Self-loathing.
Grief.
Guilt.
Loneliness.
Shame.
I pour it into every stroke of my tongue, every slide of our lips. Conner responds, letting his hands run over my body as if he owns me, as if I don’t already belong to the boy sitting in the chair. The boy with cruel words and a dark heart.
“Fuck me, Conner,” I whisper. “Fuck me until I forget.”
His body stills, his eyes dilated and skin flushed. “Hadley?” He blinks down at me as if he can’t quite believe I said the words.
But before I can reply, he’s ripped away from me and Cole looms over me with a murderous expression.
Chapter Thirty
Cole
My hands grip her waist and I lift her to her feet. She gasps in surprise, but she refuses to look at me—that is, until my fingers thread into her hair and forcefully pull her head back so she has no choice but to do so.
Fear, shame, and lust shine back at me.
My heart beats wildly in my chest as I try to imagine what happened to her tonight.
And all because of me.
My teeth grind and my jaw pops as I think about another man touching what’s mine without permission.
Our eyes hold. Tension crackles between us. Her chest heaves, her breaths racing past her parted, swollen lips. Swollen from his kiss. Not mine.
I thought it was a good idea. I thought that I wouldn't be able to refrain from hurting her, thinking she needed a gentle touch. I forget that Hadley isn’t normal. She isn’t like everyone else. She’s like me. Her darkness needs feeding, and although she might have been eager with Conner, I know that I’m what she really needs.
She needs my touch, my darkness, my punishment.
“Leave,” I bark, not taking my eyes away from Hadley’s.
“Cole, I don’t think—”
“I said leave.”
“But—”
“I won’t do anything she doesn’t want.”
His eyes drill into me, but I still don’t rip my gaze away from Hadley’s.
He hesitates. Not because he wants to continue. I know he only did what he did because I asked it of him. If I weren’t here, I have no doubt that he wouldn’t have laid a finger on her.
“Hadley, I’ll be right outside the door. You need me, you call me, yeah?” When she doesn't respond, he prompts her again.
“It’s okay, Conner. We need to do this.”
Silence descends as he closes the door behind him and leaves us alone. The last time it was just the two of us, I’d just confessed one of my darkest secrets and trusted her wholeheartedly.
Then she ruined it only hours later.
