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When I’m like this? When I’m fucking like this? I’m always like this. One wrong word or move and I’m losing my shit and causing damage that I won’t ever be able to reverse.
I blow through the house, swiping a bottle of vodka from James’ cabinet before making my way out to our car.
I’m flying down the driveway before I even know what I’m doing. Before I turn, leaving the house and the people inside behind, I look in the rearview mirror.
Standing on the steps to the house is Conner. The expression on his face makes my chest hurt. I hate disappointing him, but it’s better he learned that it’s all I’m capable of.
I’m sure if he knew the truth, he wouldn’t want anything to do with me anyway. Just like Ace, he thinks he needs to protect me. They’re totally unaware that they’re the ones who need protecting.
From me.
Chapter Seven
Hadley
The screech of tires has everyone looking over to where Conner and Cole’s car skids into a parking bay.
“What the hell?” Remi mutters, taking off toward it. I follow, the knot in my stomach tightening.
Cole climbs out of the car, eyes bloodshot, a cloud of weed clinging to him. His uniform is disheveled and he looks like he didn’t get any sleep.
“Get back in the car right now and go home,” Remi hisses at him. "In fact, no, you're not in any fit state to drive. Give me your keys."
If she’s trying to avoid a scene, she’s too late. Half the kids at school have gathered to see what drama one of the Jagger brothers is causing now.
His eyes flick to mine and a wall slams up between us.
“Cole,” I say, stepping closer. “Remi is right. You should go before Coach sees you like this.”
“Quit acting like you care, preppy.”
I rear back as if he’s slapped me and fold my arms around myself.
“You’re not going to cry, are you?” he mocks, his lip curled in disgust. “Although I’m sure my brother or Hayden wouldn’t mind being your shoulder to cry on. Maybe even both of them.”
“Cole, what the fuck has gotten into you?”
“Leave it,” he warns Remi. “I’m late for practice.” He moves around her, but she snags his wrist.
“Talk to me. I know things are messed up, but you can always—"
“I’m not my brother, Princess.” He practically spits the word at her as he yanks his hand away. “I don’t need you. I don’t need any of you.”
Cole stalks off toward the building, and the other kids give him a wide berth. He’s like a thunderstorm rolling through the place, angry and volatile and not something you want to get caught up in.
“What was all that about?” I ask.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” Her brow lifts. “What’s going on with you and Cole, Hads?” The accusation in Remi’s voice guts me. It’s like she knows we’re a disaster waiting to happen, and I hate that.
I hate that she’s written us off so easily.
“I...” The words teeter on the tip of my tongue because, the truth is, I don’t know what me and Cole are.
“He’s in a bad place, Hads. I know you two have some weird thing going on, but I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
She doesn’t realize that nothing Cole could do to me would be nearly half as bad as everything I’ve already survived.
“I like him,” I confess. The second her expression falls, I know it was the wrong thing to say.
