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“Well, I imagine he and my mom will make themselves scarce, but yeah, they’re not going anywhere.”
“That’s good. He needs a good support network. He needs to know he’s not alone.”
“You still care.” Sadness washes over Remi’s expression.
“Of course I still care.” I probably always will.
“So fight, Hadley. Fight for him.” She reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “Show Cole that you’re not going anywhere. He’s going to try, Hadley. He knows he’s got too much to lose. He needs you, you know he does.”
The desperation in her eyes guts me. I want to tell her I’ll fight, that I’ll stand by his side and help him deal with everything.
But the truth is, I don’t think I have anything left to give.
Chapter Thirty
Cole
Our game against the Heights was about the only thing I’d been looking forward to when we were dragged here by James all those months ago, and now I’m going to have to sit on the sidelines and watch the two rival teams battle it out.
I should be up there. I should be part of my team.
My team. I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve ever referred to the Seahawks as that. But I guess it’s what they are. I’ve been playing for them all season, and fuck if I don’t want them to beat the Sabers.
I glance to my left to find Conner intently watching the game, before finding Ace and Remi on the other side of me.
As glad as I am to be out of the house and doing som
ething normal once again. I can’t miss the huge void right now.
Hadley should be here.
Even if she doesn’t want to talk to me, she shouldn’t miss this game just because of me.
The crowd around me roars in delight as Aaron makes a touchdown, putting us ahead, but I still struggle to really get into it.
I miss her. Really fucking miss her.
I’d hoped that talking about her with Faye might help me put things into perspective. I didn’t need her to tell me that the times Hadley and I spent together weren’t always healthy. It doesn't take a shrink to figure that out. But it was us. It was our brand of fucked-up, and it worked for us.
What’s really not working right now is her avoiding me and things that might involve me.
“Did you ask Hads about tonight?” I ask, leaning over to Conner so he can hear me.
He glances over and my heart sinks. He doesn’t need to say the words, I can see the answer in his eyes.
A part of me hates him right now. I know he’s been hanging out with her. I don’t need his silence to tell me that, or the fact that he often returns smelling like her perfume.
I know nothing is going on.
I trust him more than I do myself most days.
Part of me can’t help thinking that she’d be better off with him anyway. But I know that’s not what it is between them. Conner’s just doing what he does and looking after everyone around him. He’s always been the same, especially when it comes to girls. He finds a broken one and spends all his time trying to fix her. He just always gets sidelined as the best friend, and I feel for him. He jokes about the nice guy always finishing last, and I can’t help but agree with him, because so far, he has come last.
“I’m sorry, bro. I really tried.”
I fight to keep the words in, but it’s futile. “Try again. Please. I really need to see her.”
He nods at me as another round of cheers erupt around us and our eyes are forced back to the field.
