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“That’s just it though. I could have stopped it. I shouldn’t have gone anywhere near her in the first place.”
“We can’t help who we love, Cole. I know that better than anyone.”
I have the door open when he says, “I think it would be best we kept your secret between us, don’t you?”
Without answering him, I fly through the house and across the backyard. I need to get away from that house, from everyone who thinks they know what’s best for me.
They can’t possibly know what I need right now. None of them are in my head, none of them fucking understand.
Apart from her.
I walk along the beach until I’m forced up a path that I know will take me to the dorms.
I tell myself over and over to turn back, but because I’m unable to stop causing myself even more pain, my feet continue forward until I’m standing in the trees that surround the building and looking up at her window.
Hadley’s light is on, but there’s no movement inside, although I know she’s up there. Fucked up, I know, but I can feel her. It makes it a little easier to breathe, knowing she’s close. Although I have no intention of getting any closer. I shouldn’t even be here, but my self-punishment knows no bounds.
I have no idea how long I stand there for, willing her to come to the window just so I can see her face. But when there is movement and a figure does appear, it’s not her. It’s a guy.
My fists curl so tight that my nails dig into my palms to the point I swear I must draw blood. Stumbling back, I crash into a tree before sliding down until my ass hits the cold, damp ground beneath me.
My eyes remain on her window, hoping for a glimpse of the motherfucker I’m going to have to kill next. But I never find out.
The next thing I know, the sun is burning through my eyelids, and when I drag them open, I find myself curled up on the ground, still facing her window.
Chapter Seven
Hadley
Everything is a mess.
I can hardly focus in class, I’m lying to Miss Jones and the team about why I can’t practice, and Cole barely looks twice at me.
Donny Lopez is gone, but the scars of that night are still there. I wake in the middle of the night, clutching the sheets and soaked in sweat. I can still taste the acrid smoke, feel the heat closing in around me. Sometimes, I dream we don’t make it out, that the flames engulf us, burning the skin and flesh from our bones.
A shudder rolls through me as I shake off the memories.
“Hey,” Remi approaches me. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay.” I hitch my bag up my shoulder and keep walking, but she falls into step beside me.
“Any morning sickness?”
“Remi!”
“What?” Guilt flashes in her eyes. “No one can hear us.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Hadley, I know things are—”
“No, you don’t. Look,” I stop in front of her, “I know you’re only worried, but I need to deal with this on my own.”
“Hads, come on, I just want to help.”
“But you can’t.” A heavy sigh escapes my lips. “No one can. I’ll see you around, Remi.” I take off before she can stop me.
I don’t want to talk about it.
