“Kennedy, wait—”
“It’s fine, Conner. I get it. I’ve got to go.” I hang up and curl into a ball, letting the tears fall.
He says he loves me. He says that he wants me, that he needs time.
So why does it hurt so much?
My cell vibrates and I read his message.
Conner: I swear it was a last minute thing. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry, K... for everything. Why don’t you come over when we’re done? We can hang out?
I stare at his words, wishing they would ease the knot in my stomach. I’d suggested that earlier and he’d blown me off. I don’t want a pity invite.
Me: I have a ton of homework. Find me when you’ve sorted your shit out.
I don’t, but he doesn’t need to know that. Powering off my phone, I pull the covers over me and close my eyes.
I wake with a start. It’s dark, the silvery hue of the moonlight trickling in through the blinds. My clock reads a little after midnight. I must have fallen asleep.
Rubbing my eyes, I turn my cell back on and wait for it to power up. There are no messages.
Nothing.
The wind howls against my windows outside. I heard we were due for a bad storm. Something crashes against the glass, and my heart lurches into my throat.
I clutch my phone, contemplating calling Hadley to see if she’s back. But I know she’s probably still at the Jaggers’. For all I know, Conner and Cole are keeping her company.
Jealousy burns through me. He says they only kissed, but I don’t know if I believe him. Conner and Hadley share a special bond, anyone who knows them can see that.
But is it more than just friendship?
God. I feel like I’m losing my freaking mind. Is this what it feels like to be in a normal relationship?
The constant self-doubt and questioning every little thing?
Not that I’m even sure that’s what this is.
Another crack at the window has my pulse spiking. I turn on the lamp and throw back the cover, padding across to the window. Pulling the blinds apart, I peer into the darkness. The trees behind the building bend and bow with the force of the wind, a loose branch striking the glass.
It’s just the wind.
I take a deep breath, my mind playing tricks on me as the trees begin to shift and shimmer into crooked fingers and eyeless monsters. For a second, I even think I see someone standing down there. But when I blink, the figure is gone, and I know I need to stop letting my mind run away with me.
Flicking the blind back in place, I climb back in bed and burrow beneath the covers.
Wishing more than ever that Conner was here.
Monday rolls around, and I don’t see Conner all morning.
“Hey,” Hadley joins me at my locker, “how are you?”
“How do you think?” I slam it a little too hard, and the echo reverberates through me.
“Listen, about Friday... I had no idea Conner had—”
“Look, Hadley. It’s obvious you and Conner share some kind of bond. You were friends first, right, so I get it. Your loyalty lies with him.”
“It isn’t like that.” She lets out a small sigh. “I want us to be friends, I do. But he’s going through some stuff—”