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Since the moment we drove into town, I understood why Cole felt so at home here, because I did too. It's not as flashy as Sterling Bay, and the people aren't so wealthy and pretentious. It's relaxed, homey even.
"It's nice."
"It's nice, is that it?" I ask with a laugh, but it's forced at best. Kenny isn't herself today. I can't quite put my finger on why. She keeps telling me that she's fine, but she's not. She's worried about something.
"It's a nice place; the college looks incredible. It would be a great place to live if you decided to go here."
"What about you?"
"Conner," she sighs. "This isn't about me. I don't have prospects like you. You decide what you want, what will make you happy, and I'll just tag along, I guess."
"You make it sound like a chore."
She turns to me, placing her warm hand on my thigh. "It's not a chore, Conner. I want to be wherever you are. It's just a big step, I guess. Having to uproot my life once again is daunting."
"Everything is going to be okay, K." I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her into my side, kissing the top of her head. "As long as we're together. Everything is going to be okay."
Silence falls over us. It's not awkward, but it's not entirely comfortable either. It's a far cry from the fun-loving Kennedy I was enjoying so much yesterday.
It's just the reality of the future, I tell myself, although there's something deep down that knows that’s bullshit. I know Kenny. I know her better than I know myself at times, and something is going on.
She shivers in my arms. "Shall we go and get a coffee?"
"Yeah, that sounds good. How long until we meet Cole and Hadley for dinner?"
I pull my cell from my pocket and check the time. "Two hours."
"Okay." Hand in hand, we walk back along the track until we find a coffee house and slip inside.
"Do you think everyone will think I'm a pussy if I follow Cole here?"
"You're really considering it, huh?"
"Yeah, I think so. I mean, I haven’t visited any other colleges yet, I just went off their websites and reputation for my applications. Where I go isn't really an issue. When I was in the Heights, I wanted to get as far away as possible, but now, I feel like I've got a family, a proper home for the first time, and a big part of me doesn't want to lose that."
"That's understandable. It's a great college. I'm sure no one would think you followed. It offers you great opportunities as well."
"I guess we'll just have to wait and see what they say. We need to get you an application." All the blood drains from her face at my comment.
"I... I don't think it's for me. I might look at community college or something. This..." she gestures outside the window. "I don't think it's my thing."
"You're just scared, K. Apply, there's no harm in trying. You'll only regret it if the deadline passes and you didn't at least give it a shot.
"Yeah, okay. Maybe."
She reaches for her mug and lifts it to her lips, effectively cutting off our conversation.
Silence falls over our table, and the dread I've been feeling all day returns. It's like Kenny built up a wall overnight, and I'm starting from square one again.
We sit and watch the students and locals who come in and out of the coffee shop until it's time to go and meet the others for dinner.
I'd wanted to take Kenny out, just the two of us, but Hadley had other ideas and insisted we double date, or whatever the hell it is.
I was reluctant to agree until she mentioned she'd booked a table at a steakhouse and that the plates were bigger than I could even imagine. That convinced me that maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
I know things are a little strained still between Kenny and Hadley. I see the way Kenny looks between Hads and me when we joke and laugh together. Despite the fact that she now knows exactly what went down that night, she still seems threatened by our closeness. I just hope that as time goes on, she realizes that there really isn't anything between us because my heart has only ever known one girl, and that’s her. Hadley is as good as my sister, there's no other way to describe how I feel about her. There's no risk of us ever taking things too far. Been there, done that, almost got a black eye from Cole to show for it.
Thankfully, Cole and Hadley have had a much better day than we have. It's clear by the wide smiles on their faces as we meet them out the front of the restaurant, but as we sit down and they start excitedly talking about the apartments they visited and show us pictures they've taken, it's more obvious than ever that things are off between Kenny and me.
