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By the end of the day, my heart is a runaway train in my chest. I barely heard anything the teacher said in last period, the roar of blood in my ears so loud everything else is white noise.
The hall is chaos as I file out of the classroom. Levi catches my eye, giving me an encouraging nod. I’m surprised he isn’t personally walking me to the pool house, but I know we need to be discreet.
Shelbie, however, does intercept me. Lacing her arm through mine, she says, “So I’ll hang around in the library, and if Warren suspects anything, we’ll tell him I had to finish a paper.”
“Okay.” The knot in my stomach is so tight I feel a little nauseous.
“Hey, it’ll be okay, you know?”
“Will it?” My palms grow slicker with every step. We slip out of the back exit and loop around one side of the building, cutting across the path to the abandoned pool house.
Conner is in there. I can feel him. My heart pounds harder in my chest and my steps falter.
“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.” I grab Shelbie’s arm, grinding to a halt.
“I know you’re scared,” she says softly, her eyes alight with sympathy. “But it’s Conner, K. He would never hurt you.”
I nod despite the way my stomach churns.
“Go,” she encourages. “You got this. Just don’t be too long. We don’t want to make Warren suspicious.”
I nod again, dragging in a calming breath.
Shelbie doesn’t follow this time. I walk the last few steps alone, until I reach the doors. Sure enough, I find them unlocked and slip inside. I’ve only been in here once before, when Conner and I were in ninth grade. We skipped class once and hung out in here.
Finally, I reach the locker room doors.
Here goes nothing.
I push it open and step inside and his head snaps up. His eyes are dark and bloodshot, and his jaw looks painfully clenched.
“You came,” he says flatly, so devoid of emotion it breaks my heart all over again.
“Yeah,” I say.
He stands up, taking the air with him. “We need to talk, K.”
“Yeah.” My stomach twists violently. “I know.”
Chapter Ten
Conner
It's been six days since I’ve been close to her, since I looked into her eyes, since her scent filled my nose. I don't know what I really expected her to look like when I saw her again. Part of me wanted her to be a mess, to obviously regret every second of what's happened this week, but another part of me, the nicer side, wanted her to be happy, to know that at least one of us wasn't dying inside.
But as she walks toward me, she almost looks just like the Kenny I remember so well. Her complexion is light, her clothes are normal, but it's not until I look right into her eyes that I find the real truth. And what I discover has all the air racing from my lungs.
I'm not the only one suffering here. And it fucking kills me.
Anger explodes within me. At her for putting us both through this. At Warren for being the cunt who has manipulated all of us. At James for not fixing this sooner and allowing me to take back what’s mine. At myself for waiting six fucking days to be standing in front of her.
"Why?" The word falls from my lips and echoes around the cold, abandoned locker room.
This isn't what I wanted. I didn't want my anger to get the better of me; I wanted to pull her into my arms and tell her that everything is going to be okay. But right now, seeing that look in her eyes, I'm not sure I can do it.
"I didn't have a choice, Conner."
"Bullshit," I snap, my hands coming up to tug at my hair painfully. "You always have a choice."
