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“I always have an emergency supply hidden. I don’t get high because I like it, Mia. I get high because sometimes it’s the only way I can—” Her body trembles as she smothers another shudder.
I understand now.
Sasha has lived this life for years. Part of the Electi’s inner circle but not truly one of them. She won’t ever be free to choose who she loves or who she marries.
Her life is not her own.
I’ve been a part of this fuckery for mere weeks. Sasha has been part of it her entire life. It isn’t any wonder she self-medicates.
I watch as she takes the tin from me and flips the lid, revealing small baggies of various pills. “I hate them,” she says, so defeated I can feel her despair. She pops two pills on her tongue and doesn’t even bother washing them down with water.
“Sometimes,” she whispers as she lies back on the bed, “I think death would be better than this life. But I’m not brave enough to do it.”
Her words hit me like a wrecking ball. I share her despair, share the soul-crushing pain that bleeds from her right now, but never once have I contemplated death.
I want to fight. I want to find a way out of this mess.
But what if she’s right…
What if there is no way out?
What then?
11
Bexley
I watch Mia leave the kitchen and then glance at Channing. He looks like he's thirty seconds away from losing his shit.
"Come on, man. Let's hit the gym," I say, slamming my hand down on his shoulder and pushing him forward.
His body is rigid as he stares at Cade, the muscle in his neck pulsating.
"What?" Cade asks innocently, which we all know is fucking bullshit. Something tells me that Cade fucking Kingsley was born corrupt, and it's only gotten worse with every day that has passed. "If you're really lucky, you'll get a girl as hot as Mia as your prosapia.”
I fight the urge not to react to his words, but with every barb he shoots my way, the harder it gets.
"Let's go." I push Channing forward, turning my back on Cade and his bullshit.
"The girls will be here in an hour, and they'll expect to be entertained,” he calls after us.
"I'm sure you're more than capable, Kingsley," I shoot over my shoulder before heading toward the stairs to the basement.
The house sits on a hill, so one wall of the basement is a solid sheet of glass that allows us to look out over the pool beyond.
"This is bullshit," Channing spits out once the door slams behind us.
"I'm sorry, man. You kinda expected it thou
gh, right?"
"I guess." He falls down onto the weight bench and drops his head into his hands. "I fucking promised her, though. Did you see the look on her face?"
I nod despite the fact that he's not looking at me. But he really doesn't need me to confirm how devastated Sasha looked when Cade announced his news.
"I don't want anyone else," he mutters.
"Fucking know how that feels."
