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"Bex," she warns, the defeat in her voice gutting me.
"No, don't even try to fight me on this. I need to know what happened last night." I turn my eyes on her and she gasps. I know why. I look like a fucking mess.
I have no idea what time I finally passed out last night, but I'm pretty sure the sun was already starting to rise. What I do know is that I had more pills than I've consumed in a long time, and the bottle of vodka was long empty.
It worked, though. For about twenty blissful minutes, I forgot about everything. I felt light. I felt happy. I felt… numb.
I missed my class this morning. Hell, I missed all of my alarms and Alex and Channing coming in to try to drag my ass from bed, but I knew I wasn't missing this afternoon and my chance to get close to her.
"What did you do?" she asks, narrowing her eyes at me.
"I drowned it all out. But that's not the point. After class, we're talking."
"It's not going to make any of it better," she sighs.
"Maybe not. But it'll stop my fucking imagination going wild."
Her gaze darts away, her face showing her own lack of sleep last night. When she fixes her eyes on me again, I add, "And I need you to tell me what to expect for this Coglio. I need to know exactly what’s going to happen so I can be prepared for it."
Her fists clench in her lap at the mention of the upcoming ceremony, but I think we both know at this point that there's very little chance of her getting out of it, no matter how much it eats me up inside.
She's going to become Cade's.
Officially.
24
Mia
Bexley and I sneak into the woods after class. He goes first, and I follow him. Then, he guides me to a secluded opening and lays out his hoodie for me to sit on.
“Come on.” He tugs me down onto it.
“Tell me what happened first,” I whisper, noticing how tense he is.
It’s peaceful out here, so serene, but the way my heart races in my chest is anything but calm.
“I… fuck.” Bexley drags a hand down his face, over and over, and eventually, I take his hand in mine and peel it away.
“You can trust me,” I say.
“Fuck, Mia, it isn’t about trusting you. It’s about admitting something that might change the way you look at me.”
Dread snakes through me. “What did you do?”
“Cade… he… he took me and Alex to this warehouse on the edge of town. There was this guy. He wanted Alex to kill him.” He sucks in a harsh breath. “Shoot him at point-blank. It was a test… but Alex totally froze. I knew he couldn’t do it. He’s not built for this life.”
Oh God. Bile churns in my stomach as blood roars in my ears.
“Did you…”
“I had to.” He finally looks at me, and what I see there guts me. “I had to do it.”
“You killed a man?”
He nods, his eyes shuttering on another sharp intake of breath. “And I don’t think it’ll be the last time.”
“The guy in the mausoleum?” A chill runs through me.
