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“Look, I know I messed up, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Mia. You’re my best friend. I just want to be there for you.” She lays a hand on my arm, and I freeze. “God, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through.”
“Not so alluring now, is it?” I grit out, a shudder going through me.
“What?” Her expression falls.
“This is what you wanted, right? To be in their world. To be one of them.”
“I don’t understand…”
“Of course you don’t.” Because Quinctus covered up my parents’ death as a tragic house fire and Cade’s absence as visiting family.
“Mia, did something happen? Something besides…” She trails off, something catching her eyes over my shoulder. I glance back to find Channing and Sasha walking toward us.
“Annabel,” Sasha says coolly.
“Hey, Sasha. I was just… it doesn’t matter. I guess I’ll see you around, Mia. Bye.” Annabel takes off down the hall, a heaviness settling in my chest.
She was my one friend outside of all this. Quinctus. The Electi. Cade and Bexley. But now even that is tainted.
“You okay?” Channing eyes me carefully.
“I’m fine. I was expecting Bexley.”
“He got held up in class and asked us to swing by and meet you.”
“You know, I’m quite capable of getting myself to class. Besides, Q has security all over the building.” I glance to the side but see no one.
They’re like ghosts, blending in with the student populous, hiding in the shadows. But they’re there. I feel them, watching, following my every move.
It should settle the pit in my stomach.
It doesn’t.
“He’s just worried.”
I purse my lips, unwilling to get into it with Channing here, of all places. “Yeah, well, I’m fine. I need to get to my next class.”
“We’ll walk—"
“No,” I snap. “I don’t even need to leave the building. I’ve got it.” Hitching my bag up my shoulder, I take off in the opposite direction in a hurried pace. They follow, but they don’t try to stop me, and I’m grateful. It’s stifling, being constantly chaperoned and guarded. They all keep telling me Cade isn’t here, that it’s my mind and not reality scaring me. So what’s to be concerned about?
I reach my next class and slip inside, relieved that neither of them follow. It’s only Monday afternoon, and I’m already exhausted. And with the Harvest Ball happening this weekend, I’m going to need all my strength.
If I had my way, I’d never set foot in another Gravestone ceremony or event again. But Phillip expects me to be there. Quinctus expects me to be there. They expect me to paste on a smile and keep up pretenses.
God, I hate this.
I hate all of it.
The professor walks on stage and ushers the room into silence. “Good afternoon. Today we’ll be watching the first half of a documentary. I expect you to take notes. There will be a pop quiz later in the semester, and your assignment will rely heavily on the ideas presented.”
Relief floods me. At least I haven’t got to sit here and pretend to be engaged. And since I’m sitting at the back of the room, no one will pay me any attention.
The room plunges into darkness, and the screen flickers to life. It isn’t long before my eyes grow heavy, and I rest my head back against the wall. I’m safe here.
I’m safe.
* * *
