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Gasping slightly, Lilac rested a hand above her breast. “I don’t know how you can drive after that.” She shivered. “I—I’d keep thinking about it every time I got behind thewheel.”
Nolan laughed dryly. “Orlando doesn’t exactly have the greatest public transit system. It’s drive or get nowhere—and if you opt for the latter, you can’t even stay in your house for long because you can’t get to a job and you run out of money and can no longer pay forit.”
Lilac ran a finger in a circle in the sand just beyond the edge of the frayed towel. “You’re right. I’m sorry I saidthat.”
Nolan turned, laying a hand atop hers—hesitatingly at first to make sure she was okay with it. She didn’t flinch. “Don’t be. I just… Well, I apparently like to bum everyone out by talking about it.” He tried to smile, but he could feel it didn’t quite reach his lipsright.
She locked her eyes with his. “You didn’t bum me out. It’s sad… I…” She sighed and shook her head. “I’m really messing up what tosay.”
“No,” he said, sitting straighter but not letting go of her hand. “It’s… I mean, how do you talk about it? Even if it’s colored everything about my life since then, I can’t… It’s hard to talkabout.”
“You really step up with the kids,” said Lilac. It was more an observation than aquestion.
Nolan’s hand slipped off hers. “Dad isn’t—he’s not a bad dad. He’s just easily overwhelmed. And he has his plate full working one full-time job and one part-time job to try to make ends meet. We need my salary, too—it helps with the costs of raising twokids.”
“But you’re a kid,too!”
Nolan felt an invisible punch to the gut at that. Of course, this beautiful, mature woman thought he was a kid. “Well, I’m twenty-one now,” he said, and sure enough, he saw something like disappointment flicker across her eyes. “I was eighteen when it happened. I was planning to go to college out of state and then… Well. I settled on community college for a computer sciencedegree.”
“But that’s not right. I meant that you’rehiskid. You’re a kid in the family. I’m sure that’s not what your mom would havewanted!”
“I’m sure not,” said Nolan, pushing back the bit of rage floating to the top of his brain. He knew it was unreasonable, but it wasn’t the first time he’d felt like this. “But it doesn’tmatter.”
“But can’t your dad just hire someone?” sheasked.
That elicited a double-take. Nolan actually stared at her to see if she was kidding, but she seemed nothing but earnest. He laughed. “With what? We needed Mom’s income. She didn’t have much of a life insurance policy—it paid for the funeral and that was about it—and the only reason we can even afford a babysitter for a few hours a week is because I can take Landon to Tildy’s Tots for free since I work at Tildy World full-time. Willow usually has tosufferthrough after-school programs. We just have a sitter on Fridays when I’m busy with school. And then there was tuition. How were we going to afford that? And don’t say loans—I wasn’t saddling myself with over a hundred grand inloans.”
Lilac bit her lip, then smiled, bringing up a handful of sand. “This is busy withschool?”
Nolan grinned despite himself. “One class got canceled today, and okay, a couple of nights a week, I do stuff by myself.” His scalp itched and he ran a hand through his hair. “Dad’s home most evenings because he starts early. Like way early. And there’s the babysitter onFridays.”
“I’m not blaming you,” said Lilac, letting go of her sand and sliding in closer to him. He stiffened as she leaned across him, her beautiful, full lips less than an inch from his chest, but then she straightened, her bottle of sunscreen in one hand. “Did you put anyon?”
Chuckling, he pointed toward the western sky and the parking lots and hotels and restaurants behind him. “It’ll be twilight before toolong.”
Lilac popped the top and slathered her hands together. “But it’s not nighttime yet.” She nodded at him. “Turn around. I’ll get yourback.”
Nolan wasn’t going to object to that. He flinched but then relaxed as her small, soft hands worked up and down his bare back. “Thanks for coming,” he said then, sure he wouldn’t have her beside him for muchlonger.
“Thanks for inviting me.” Lilac’s fingers made their way up to his shoulders now, her digits doing little movements to melt the tension right out of his body. He was glad he’d clenched his legs to his chest to hide the stiffness in histrunks.
“I don’t get to hang out with people much,” said Nolan truthfully. “Outside work. Life is… kids at Tildy World and kids athome.”
Lilac took a break then, filling her hands with more sunscreen. He didn’t object when she started rubbing one of his arms, peeling it away from hisknees.
He cleared his throat. “Tildy World seems like a place where dreams come true when you’re a kid.” Lilac’s hands froze on his bicep. “But when you work there a while, it just becomes a stressful, hectic work day just like any other place—only glamoured a bit with fantasy and make-believe. I don’t hate it there, but it’s certainly lost itscharm.”
She didn’t say anything to that, filling her hands again and going to work on the other arm. Nolan had to shift his legs just right so she wouldn’t notice the bulge. He took a deep breath and tried to calm his mind as her soft touch went to work on his skin. “How’s it going?” he asked quietly, sure her bender on Sunday had something to do with the job. “How do you like Florida sofar?”
“I love Florida,” she said, almost too concisely. She stared at him then and poked his chest lightly. “Lie down. I’ll get your chest andlegs.”
Nolan had never heard of anyone asking for help getting those easier-to-reach places, but he didn’t object. He squeezed his legs together as his head hit the towel, fighting his hard-on, which had just been quieting down. She started down at his legs, filling her hands with sunscreen and then massaging his calf and working her way up to his thigh. Clenching his fists together, he tried to focus on what he’d been trying to do.Get her to talk. Let her know she doesn’t need to cope with stress in an unhealthyway.
“A lot of people think it’s too hot here,” he said, knowing full well that Orlando weather wasn’t what had set her on course toThommy’s.
Lilac snorted. “I guess the heat can be a bit brutal. Spanish summers and beaches probably have a leg up on Orlando ones, but after countless Midwestern winters, Orlando willdo.”
“You’ve been to Spain?” asked Nolan as Lilac crawled around him to start work on the other leg. The way her arms pressed against the bottom of her breasts as she crawled, hands and knees, up toward him framed her cleavage even more, like that needed more of a highlight. He squeezed his fists tight again and clenched his eyes for good measure this time, though he could feel his throbbing member downbelow.
