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Like a balm over the chapped and ragged thing that had been his heart the past few years, her touch had soothed and awoken him, even though a part of him still felt like there was the ghost of something there behind it even on her side—a touch ofheartache.
He wished he could be the one to soothe her pain. He wanted tobe.
In a jolt as his eyes fluttered open, he realized it was Saturday morning and he’d left his phone in his car’s glove compartment. He’d texted his dad about being gone for a while after school, but despite assurances to Lilac that he would, he’d never texted to say he’d planned to spend the whole night away from home. Part of him hadn’t wanted to see his dad tell him he couldn’t stay because he was needed the next morning, and part of him honestly thought he’d be on his way before the sun rose. As if he could willingly walk away fromher.
Once the jolt settled, he really didn’t care. His dad didn’t work most weekends. He could deal with thekids.
Right now, he just wanted to commit her touch tomemory.
She stirred then, letting out a little groan that reminded him mischievously of her groans from the night before. “Good morning,” she said, yawning. She shifted herself up and pressed her lips lightly tohis.
“Morning,” he replied. He rested one hand on her shoulder and laid his lips once lightly on herforehead.
She grinned and gently detangled herself from him, pushing aside the sheet that covered part of their legs. “Do you wantbreakfast?”
Grabbing for her elbow, Nolan missed but kept trying, holding on to nothing but air. “Stay,” he said, and he felt his voice crack. It sounded pathetic, but in that moment he didn’tcare.
The pain he’d shoved down and shoved down as he moved forward through every day shot to the surface like a bolt of lightning as she stood beside the bed. She stared at him over her shoulder, something illegible on her face, but she gave him a faltering smile and slipped back in beside him. “Just for a bit,” she said. “Checkout is atnoon.”
Nolan felt guilty then as she wrapped one arm back around him and snuggled against his side. He didn’t want her to pity him, he just thought—well, this was part of it, too, wasn’t it? The cuddling? Even if that was difficult to do when she was in the nude in hisarms.
He took a deep breath. The surest way to settle his loins was to focus on something else—focus on the friend he wanted her to be, if she wasn’t interested in letting them be any more. He could handle that. He’d expected that. Why would someone likeherconsider being hisgirlfriend?
“Tell me more about you,” he said, staring at the ceiling and rubbing his fingers through herhair.
“What about me?” she asked, and although her tone wasn’t entirely defensive, there was something there, something that was hidden behind a shield she keptguarded.
“Well, you’re from near Chicago,” he said. “You’ve spent a semester in Spain… You love Tildy World. Thegreatest theme park on the planet,” he added to make herlaugh.
Shedidchuckle a bit. “That’s aboutit.”
“I doubt that,” said Nolan. Giving her shoulder a squeeze, he started rubbing his hand up and down her upper arm, careful not to touch her breast and stop this conversation before it trulystarted.
“What do you want to know?” sheasked.
“Did you always want to be a theme park resort assistantmanager?”
She stiffened beneath his touch. “No. I never even consideredit.”
“Thenhow—?”
“I was set to become an elementary school teacher until a few weeks ago. In Minnesota of allplaces.”
Thatcaused Nolan to chuckle. “How do you go from snow tobeaches?”
Shrugging, Lilac nuzzled her cheek against his chest again. “It justhappened.”
Nolan waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. “I can see you as an elementary school teacher. Landon loves you. Even my bratty sister has nothing but good things to say about you—anyone who can make Landon smile is A+ in herbook.”
The little peal of laughter Lilac gave off then made Nolan’s heart flutter, and it didn’t help that she started running her fingertip across his stomach. “I like kids,” she said. “So I decided to teach them. But I was never overly obsessed with becoming a teacher. It was alotof work just graduating with an education degree and a proper license. I was so busy the whole time, I barely had time to second-guess mydecision.”
“How did Spain fit in tothat?”
Her fingers stopped moving. “It didn’t, really. I just wanted to go. Well, I turned it into a Spanish minor, which certainly doesn’t hurt to pair with an education degree. But mostly, I just… Needed thebreak.”
Nolan knew that feeling too well. He just didn’t know how it felt to have the means and opportunity to take that break—although if this was his break, this certainly wasn’t tooshabby.
“My time in Spain wasamazing,” she continued. “And I just… I don’t know. I started regretting thinking sosmall.”
