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“Where do you sleep, Amber?” he asks and the simple, completely natural question makes my limbs feel indecently heavy and numb.
“Just down the hallway.”
It’s not until now that I realize how on top of each other we’re going to be. We’re going to be so close that I won’t even be able to walk to the bathroom without putting on a robe.
“And you’re okay with me being this close?” he replies.
For some reason, Gina’s words run through my mind.A stranger? Right next to you? I shouldn’t let her get to me like that, but its already too late and I chew on my lip.
“Aha,” I answer but my voice sounds hoarse. It embarrasses me and I try to come up with some excuse when he asks,
“Is there a second bedroom?”
My eyes flare a little. “There is. A guestroom but it’s down in the basement...”
His head jerks as if we’ve made an agreement. “I’ll take that one instead.”
I stare at him. He sounds resolute. He wants to change rooms? Why, because of me? Because he registered I was getting uncomfortable? That’s so...
Sweet.
“Are you sure?” I ask in a low voice, feeling a bit bad. There is nothing out of the ordinary about him. He has a normal job, normal clothes. Normal name.
“I’m sure. Your house is nice enough, you could put me in one of your closets and I’d be fine.”
I laugh. “Okay. I just want you to like it here, Stanmore.”
“Oh, I will.” He gives me a smile, his teeth suddenly seeming as sharp as the teeth of something not fully domesticated. “And call me Stan.”
2
Stanmore
Close up. Face to face. Finally, and a shudder moves through my body.For months I’ve been waiting for this. Waiting to be in close proximity to her. The woman, that is all mine. But she doesn’t know it yet and I tell myself not to push her.
I even put on a tracksuit to look more non-threatening and it seems to have worked. She let me in after all, didn’t she?
At the first sight of her, casually at home, casually dressed in a tight dress I was overwhelmed by an urge to mark her. Sink my teeth into her graceful neck, just to feel her pulse jitter. Her guard is down, defenses low and I`m working hard to hide how much that pleases me.
It pleases me that she trusted me so much the moment she saw me. And there is nobody on this earth, she can trust more than me. Her hands are delicate and frail but she’s got me in an iron grip. Whatever she wants from me, she’ll get it. No questions asked, nothing required in return.
But everything, all of her is wanted.
I listen to her talk as we walk down the staircase, her voice making me feel like pure air is sinking down into my lungs and every time she throws a look over her shoulder to give me a sweet smile, it makes my chest swell.
She doesn’t know what she means to me, the painful need she makes me feel in my bones. The girl has been living rent free in my mind ever since I saw one of her concerts a couple of months ago. I’m not much for music, or concerts, or crowds but her face was up on a poster.
It was the face that made me walk inside, those green eyes with that secret glimmer in them, the dimples in her cheeks... but it was she who put a spell on me. In that concert hall I could barely breathe, feeling like I for the first time had been brought to life again.
The colors seemed brighter, the sounds loud and clear and my body started buzzing. After that I was a man obsessed, constantly plotting how to get closer to her, how to get her to say hello to me. To smile at me.
I’ve kept an eye on her, learning a thing or two. On one side she’s one of the most passionate, hardworking women I’ve ever seen, playing so ferociously on her cello like she doesn’t care if her fingers bleed.
On the other side she’s a little spoiled, her manager doing her grocery shopping, buying her clothes and that annoying manager is always by her side, like a yapping Chihuahua whenever Amber is out. Getting close to her was impossible.
The only time she’s out without her manager is when she jogs in the woods. But I couldn’t stop her there, not wanting to scare her. I was running out of ideas when I got a google alert that she had put up an ad for a roommate.
I jumped at the chance, going frantic at the thought that she might reject me and accept someone else. She didn’t. Answering my prayers, just like I will answer hers.
