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She leaned back in her chair and furrowed her brow. “You’re here,” she motioned into thin air around her, “so how would you know what’s best?”
Spencer sighed. “I just want you to let me ha
ndle things, OK? Just as I’ve always done. Trust me. You’re not homeless, I’ve made sure you and the children are cared for and that you have what you need, haven’t I?”
She waited a long time to respond. Myles considered that maybe she wasn’t going to when she finally spoke. “Actually, no. You haven’t. We need you home. This isn’t right, you being here. I want you to come home with me, Spence.”
He shuffled in his seat then rubbed the length of his jaw with one hand. “I… I can’t.”
She cocked her head. Myles registered surprise in her expression. “Why not?’
“I don’t want that life anymore, Jessica.”
She swallowed hard. Her palm flew to her chest and she took a deep breath. Shock. “What are you saying?”
“I want a divorce. Maybe not right now. But someday—”
Tears had begun falling from her cheeks by this point, but she still managed to cut him off. “I don’t understand. Why? Was our marriage… our family really that bad? Is it me? The accident? I know I’m not the same person I once was… but I love you, Spencer. And I promise I can be that person again. I can be her again. If you just come home…”
Don’t beg, Myles wanted to tell her.
Spencer took a deep breath and held it before letting it out. “I don’t know what to say… I just didn’t want it anymore. That’s why I left. To see if I might change my mind. But I haven’t…”
Jessica used her thumbs to wipe the mascara that had begun to smear beneath the tips of her eyelids. She sat up a little straighter. “Is there someone else?”
Spencer looked away. “It’s not like that.”
“Then tell me. What is it like? Because I just don’t understand… I don’t understand how you can waltz right out of our lives and halfway across the world without a valid explanation. I mean… remember how mad we were when the Greyers split? You said, Spence… you said that you could never imagine bailing on your children… on your family, for a job. And you don’t even have that. So, tell me, please… what reason do you have?”
Spencer pursed his lips and spoke slowly. “I’m gay, Jessica.”
The color had drained from her face. Myles was gauging at which point he might step in, though it wasn’t his style, when to her credit, she recovered. “Gay?” she repeated, confused. Myles watched her search her mental catalog for clues.
Her husband couldn’t meet her eye. “Yes. Gay.”
Jessica shook her head. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. Neither could Myles, if he were being honest. “I don’t understand. How long have you known this?”
He looked up at her then. “My whole life.”
“What the fuck, Spencer? What are you saying?” She’d resorted to yelling.
“Calm down, Jessica. Please,” Spencer pleaded.
“Calm down? You want me to calm down! You’re basically telling me that half of my life has been a total fucking lie…and you want me to calm down?”
“I don’t want you to be angry. I want you to understand. And I want you to meet him, actually…”
She deadpanned. “He’s here? With you?”
Spencer didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. His facial expression said it all.
“Oh, my God.” Her hand covered her mouth. “I can’t believe this is happening—”
Spencer stood. Myles didn’t like where this was going and he shifted, ready to get up quickly if he needed to. “There’s something else I need to tell you, Jessica—”
Myles watched Jessica brace herself. She knew. He watched her pull herself up to a standing position. Myles did the same. He was afraid her legs would give out.
Spencer ran his fingers through his hair quickly and then shoved them in the pockets of his expensive, designer, tailored, jeans. “The money is mostly gone.”
