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Myles sat down on the bed, leaned forward, and rested his arms on his knees. “It’s in part how they break you down in the military.”
She swallowed. “And you want me to agree to this, why?”
“You need to get sober. And I need to keep you safe in the meantime.”
“You mean keep yourself safe?”
He shrugged slightly. “That, too.”
“What exactly does this brutalization entail?”
“Mostly, what it implies.”
“And what if I can’t do it?”
He inhaled slowly and let it out. “Then I can’t stick around.”
Jessica sighed and leaned back in her chair. “You do understand that I’m already in quite a predicament because I gave my power away, right?”
“This is different. It’s about getting your power back, in a way that serves you. It doesn’t involve money. There are clearly written, agreed upon rules from the start. And of course, this sort of arrangement requires complete trust and open, direct communication.”
Her eyes widened then relaxed. “Myles. Myles. Myles… what you’re asking is absurd. What I don’t need right now is someone taking anything else from me or telling me how to be. Enough of that has already occurred. My life is a complete fucking mess…”
“That’s one way to look at it, sure. But this is also giving your life back to you in a way that prepares you to deal with it. Something you haven’t been doing a very good job of—to put it mildly. It’s no different from Basics in the U.S. Military.”
“So… you’re offering me boot camp?”
He considered her analogy for a moment and smiled. “With sex added.”
She glared at him. “Well, when you put it like that…”
“Look, Jessica… to put it in the simplest of terms, you need to get sober. And more importantly, to get your life together. I need to be able to handle being close to someone again in a way that makes sense for me. Both of these things require a considerable amount of effort and a fair amount of trust.”
She smiled, and then let it fade. “How much sex are we talking?”
He leaned back and eyed her from head to toe, his gaze stopping on hers. “As much as you can handle.”
Jessica raised her brow, apparently satisfied with his answer. “I want to read the rules first.”
He let his eyes light up, but just briefly. This was going to be fun. “Fair enough.”
Jessica stared at her reflection in the mirror as Myles stood behind her. She watched as he unzipped her skirt and then took her hand as she stepped out of it. He unbuttoned her blouse, one by one, taking his time. Too much time. The rules could wait just a bit, he’d said.
“Do you trust me?” he asked as he unfastened her bra and ran his hands over her body.
She nodded, but when she met his eye, he firmly grabbed her neck and ordered her to focus on her own reflection.
Once she had, and he was satisfied, he used his foot to gently splay her legs, a hips’ distance apart. “I want to hear you say it.”
Jess exhaled. “I trust you.”
“It’s important that you do as I say. If there’s something you don’t want to do or if you want to stop, at any time, just say so.”
She met his eyes again. He leaned forward and took her chin between his fingers and squeezed. Hard. “Eyes straight ahead.”
Myles paused for a second to make sure she followed, and then carefully traced his fingers down the side of her body until he reached the scars. He stopped there and then ran his fingers back up again, before trailing back down once more. He lingered over each scar, tracing them one by one. “You’re so beautiful,”
he whispered.
