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Addie shook her head at the nurse’s insistence that she eat. She wasn’t hungry, she promised her, but the nurse kept at it until Addison picked up the tray and flung it across the room. She hated behaving that way. It wasn’t like her, but she couldn’t help herself. She was angry, and the pain was overwhelming. She didn’t want to be here in this hospital, in this bed, unable to do anything without help. She didn’t ask for any of this, and she certainly didn’t deserve all of the pain she’d endured. So why her? All she wanted was to be home with her boys—not here—not in this condition where the nightmares always came and she wasn’t sure whether she was dreaming or awake.
The boys came to visit daily, and that was the only sliver of the day she was truly herself. She put on a brave face for them. She masked the pain she was in, she smiled, and sometimes, she even laughed, but it wasn’t the same. Nothing was the same.
She had a steady stream of visitors, but the nurses would only let them stay for a few minutes before kicking them out, telling them she needed her rest. Except for William, that is. They let William stay long as he wanted. He’d wheel himself into her room and stay for hours, holding her hand, often times without speaking at all. He was better off than she was, only suffering a few broken ribs he’d said, a broken arm, and a collapsed lung. Addison didn’t quite understand that because she’d watched Hammons beat William ten times worse than she herself had been beaten, or at least what she remembered of it anyway.
Jess visited too. She had also been helping Patrick with the boys by taking them on fun outings and once to her house for a sleepover. She was intent on hearing all of the details of what had happened, causing Addie to snap because she just wasn’t ready to go there. Most of it had been reported in the news anyway, so she really didn’t understand Jess’s need to quiz her on the matter. But that was just Jess; she always believed in talking about things, and she insisted that you needed to process things by getting the out. But Addie didn’t see it that way. When it came to a lot of the situations in her life, she’d always found that silence was golden. And so when Jess kept at it and didn’t seem to get that she was in no condition to discuss any of it, Addie let her have it. Afterwards, she felt terrible for talking to her best friend like that, but she hadn’t been able to hold it in any longer. She did not want to fucking talk about any of it. Why couldn’t any of them get that? There was only one person who seemed to understand her, and it scared her to think that she’d probably only end up hurting him too, in the long run. The doctors and the therapists told her that this kind of behavior was typical for head-injury patients. Anger, sudden outbursts and the inability to concentrate were all par for the course, they’d explained. Lucky her.
Sondra had visited her almost every day and had even brought the baby up once. On one of her visits in an attempt to cheer Addison up or something of the sort, she told her the story of who the little guy’s father was. As it turned out, he was a very well-known and very married politician who visited Sondra and the baby often, never promising more than that. Admittedly, Addie could now see how much the baby looked like him. She told Addie that she was head over heels in love with a man who would probably never love her back, but she assured her that was okay because between work and the baby, that was all she could really handle, anyway. She made Addie laugh by telling her she’d never wanted a happy-ever-after, anyways.
Only Sondra could say something like that and make it funny. Addie was grateful for Sondra’s friendship, even though it had started out as anything but friendly. Sondra was one of those rare people in this word who were real. She never tried to be anything other than what she was, and Addie figured she could learn a thing or two from that. On her visit earlier, she’d brought with her an offer that Addison couldn’t quite push out of her mind. They both laughed over Addison even being willing to listen to her even utter the word “offer” after the last one. But this one, as she’d later decided, didn’t sound half bad. She could use a change; that much she knew. And the more she thought about it, the more she realized that, after everything she had been through, Sondra’s idea was one of the few things that beckoned her to try, to keep going, and to keep trying, no matter how much it hurt.
Nineteen
William picked up his crutches and stared at his reflection in the mirror before hobbling toward Addie’s room. They were getting ready to release him, even though he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it. He’d already bought himself a few extra days and could easy have paid for more, but something in Addison’s demeanor told him that maybe he should go. The last thing he wanted to do was to leave her, but just because he was no longer considered a patient didn’t mean he couldn’t spend nearly every waking moment there with her.
The thing about Addison that he understood so well was her need for space. She’d been through a lot. Hell, they’d all been through a lot, but the blatant truth was that it was his fault. Sure, what had happened to them at the hands of Scott Hammons wasn’t exactly William’s fault per se, but the fact was that being with a man like him would always make anyone he loved a target. If she chose a life with him, there would always be the possibility that something like this could happen again. Men of William’s stature, incredibly wealthy public figures, didn’t get to live like everyone else. The lifestyle came with a lot of perks, sure, but it also came with an incredible price too. It was a very different way to live, and the loss of anonymity alone was enough to make most people opt out. He had chosen this life. It was what he knew, but to ask someone else to make that choice, to give up so much . . . Well, it was a lot to ask of a person. William knew Addison loved him; he knew that. But he also knew that she was as smart as they came, and so it had to be weighing on her mind whether or not this was really what she wanted, not just for her but for her children. It was a lot to ask.
He knocked quietly on the door and entered the room to find Addison sitting up in bed, staring out the window. She didn’t turn, but he could tell that she knew he was there. Propping his crutches against the bed, h
e sat down and placed his hand on her thigh. When she turned, he saw the tears in her eyes. “Hey, hey, hey, come here.”
She wiped her eyes and stared at him.
“I heard you did really well in physical therapy today. They say with effort like that you’ll be out of here in no time,” William remarked.
“Yeah.”
William traced I love you on her thigh with his finger, hoping she got the message. “What’s up?”
Addie laid her head back against the bed and closed her eyes. “William, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
He ran his hand down her thigh and back up again and then met her gaze. “All right.”
Addie opened her eyes and glared at his mouth. “Sondra made me an offer I can’t refuse.”
He frowned. “Another one, huh?” he asked and then smiled wryly. “Well, I can’t wait to hear this one.”
“The agency wants to open in new markets, and they want to send me to do some of the upfront leg work.” Addie said, not taking her eyes from his.”
“Wow. Okay?”
“Well, I talked it over with Patrick, and he’s given me permission to take the boys. So I’m going to tell her yes. I’m . . . I’m guessing we’ll leave within the next month or so, once I get back on my feet.”
“Well, all right. I mean if that’s what you want to do, then I think it’s a great idea.”
“Really?” Addison asked, as she crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side. Clearly, she wasn’t buying it.
William grinned. “Yeah, if that’s what you want. But I’m going to go ahead and take a moment to call you out on your own bullshit. If you wanna go, that’s great. I’m behind you one-hundred percent; although, I think we both know why you’re really doing this. You’re running, Addison. You’re scared and you’re running, which is fine, but if you think I’m gonna let you off the hook, just like that, well, you’ve got another thing coming.”
Addie raised her eyebrows. “I’m not scared, and I’m not running.”
William mirrored her demeanor, sighed, and called her bluff. “All right, then. Let me come with you. Where are we going, anyway?”
“Come with me? Are you kidding? You can’t come with me.” Addie laughed.
He deadpanned. “The hell I can’t.”
“Your life is here. Your work is here.”
