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Jack swallowed hard and choked as it went down the wrong way. “Um. No,” he managed when he finally recovered.
She glared at him with a determined expression written across her face. “So… what you’re saying, Jack Harrison… is that you don’t want to fuck me?”
Jack looked away. Never look away, he reminded himself. “No. Amelie. I do not want to fuck you.” Other things he thought, but not fuck.
She dumped what remained of her coke, carefully removed his drink from his hand, and placed it on the ground. She stood up, pushed him backward, and climbed on top, straddling him. Jack didn’t resist. He was too amused and maybe even a little powerless to stop the train wreck which was surely about to happen. She pinned his arms above his head, and he let her. Don’t let it go this far, he warned himself.
Amelie searched his eyes before a wide grin swept across her face. “Whew! Well. I’m glad. Actually, that’s the best news I’ve heard all day, Jack! Because I was worried that we were about to find ourselves in real trouble here.”
With one fell swoop, Jack flipped her over on her back and climbed off the hammock. “You’re insane,” he called over his shoulder, letting the trailer door slam behind him.
Several hours later, Jack froze when he felt the bed dip. Amelie pulled the covers back and crawled in beside him. He hadn’t been sleeping, but his best defense he decided at that moment was to pretend that he was now. “Jack.” She shook him. “Jack?” He mumbled and scooted further away. “Jack! Wake up! I can’t sleep.”
She wasn’t going to give up, was she? Some small part of him was satisfied with the answer. He rolled over and faced her. “And? What is it you want me to do about it?”
“I want you to talk to me… please?” She sounded so meek that if he weren’t so busy forcing himself to be annoyed, he might’ve almost felt sorry for her.
Jack shifted. “Fine.”
She scooted toward him and curled her body around his. He stiffened.
“Tell me about her.”
“About who?” He knew exactly whom it was she meant.
“Your mom.” Amelie replied softly.
“What do you wanna know?” he asked with as much exasperation in his voice as he could muster. It had been so long since he’d spoken of his mother that he wasn’t sure where to even start. He was also afraid that if he started speaking he might never stop.
“Whatever you want to tell me.”
Jack took a deep breath. “She was beautiful and happy. And then one day she got sick. From there, she just got sicker and sicker… until any sign of the mother that I’d known was gone. It was as if she’d just faded away.”
“I’m so sorry,” Amelie whispered in the dark. “I’ve never really thought of it this way but… I guess I was pretty lucky.”
“That’s bullshit, Amelie. You weren’t lucky.”
“I really was, though. One day he was there. And the next he wasn’t. At least, I can remember him the way he was, you know.”
“Yeah, well… At least I got to say goodbye. I got a thousand goodbyes.” Jack was lying. Although he wasn’t sure why. He’d never said goodbye. Even though he knew he should have said it, even though there were a thousand chances, he hadn’t had it in him.
“Sometimes… I feel like I can’t picture him anymore. Like I’m forgetting him… I forget the way he looked when he smiled. The sound of his voice. The way his hand felt wrapped around mine. And it hurts so badly, Jack. It hurts so fucking bad. Sometimes, it’s so painful I can’t breathe. Like the pain just sucks all of the air out of me… until there’s nothing left. I don’t want to forget. I really don’t. But I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make it stop. It hurts to remember. But it hurts even more to forget.” She paused briefly. “Do you ever feel that way…?”
Jack pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her. He let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Every single day.”
SEVEN
Click. Click. Click. Jack opened his left eye, just barely peeking out. He knew that sound well. He pulled at the covers and yanked them over his head.
Amelie laughed. “Wake up! I got some really great shots of the sunrise. Oh... and I have an idea!”
“Do you ever sleep?” Jack grumbled.
“Hardly. If you must know, it’s one of my best qualities.”
He pulled the covers harder and tucked them under his head for good measure. “I’m sure.”
Amelie toppled over him with a thud. “Well? Do you want to hear my idea or not?”
