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Jack sipped his water and placed the glass back on the table. “It’s fine. I mean… you know. We’ve been together for a while now, and we live together, so all of that stuff… it kind of changes.”
She deadpanned. “Sounds thrilling.”
“I don’t mean it like that, really. It’s good. Everything is good. But she and I… well, let’s just say it’s not like it is with us.”
Amelie bit her lip. “How so?”
“Our relationship is different. Let’s just leave it at that.”
And leave it at that they did, finishing their dinner in silence. After dinner, they headed out on foot exploring the local shops surrounding the hotel and picking up much needed supplies Jack hadn’t brought along. As they made their way back to the hotel to deposit the wares they’d purchased, Amelie broached the topic she’d been avoiding. “So… you never told me… is the wedding in Austin?”
Jack shook his head. “Hawaii. Her family has a place there.”
“Nice.”
“You know… your mom wrote you a letter for your wedding day. Have you read that one yet?”
“No.”
“Yeah. Me, neither.”
Jack stopped walking. “Wait… you’ve read them, recently?”
She faced him and dropped his hand. “Yeah. I have copies… and I read them from time to time.”
He reached for her hand and led her to a grassy area just across from the shops. He sat and pulled her down, too. They watched a group of teenagers as one teenager grabbed another ones hat and played keep away within their group of friends. After several minutes, he looked at her and asked, “So, what do you think… of the letters? I guess I never considered that you might still have them, that you read them, too.”
“I think they’re beautiful.” She smiled slightly. “There are a few I still have never read, though. The one for your wedding day and the one written for the day your first child is born, for example. I’m not sure why… I just never have. Maybe… it’s because those seem more personal. Like they’re a part of you that I’ll never know. They’ve always seemed too far off, too far into the future.”
After another stretch of silence, and more people watching, Jack spoke. “I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing marrying her. I keep looking for a sign as though something’s just going to materialize and wash away all of my doubts. I realize that I should be sure.” His mouth formed a hard line. “Shouldn’t I?” He finally asked his voice simultaneously pleading and forceful.
Amelie thought long and hard about how to answer, finally inhaling sharply. “I can’t say for sure, Jack. I mean, yes, you do need to be sure. You absolutely do. But I think most people probably go into it a little nervous. Hence the term cold feet.”
He smiled, but it didn’t touch his eyes “Yeah, speaking of cold feet…” He stood, reached for her hands, and pulled her up.
Amelie leaned in, threw her arms around his neck, and hugged him with all of the strength she could muster. When she pulled back, she chuckled. “Who are you, anyway? The Jack I knew has always been so sure of himself.” She grabbed his shoulders and shook him a little. “Must be love, if it’s got you, of all people, feeling like this.”
He searched her face as though he were trying to dig out every lie she had ever told. If it hadn’t been so cold, and had they spent a moment longer standing there in that spot with him looking down at her like that, he might have just succeeded, she realized. A few seconds later, and she may have let slip what it was she really wanted to say.
That night, Jack called Amelie into the bathroom where he’d run a bubble bath. She eyed him suggestively when he motioned toward the tub.
“I’m probably going to go to hell for this, you know,” he remarked as he slowly peeled her clothes off, took her by the hand, and lead her to the tub.
“For other things, I’m sure. But probably not for this…” s
he retorted.
He smiled, and walked to the vanity, placed his hands on the counter, and pressed his weight into them. He stood watching her reflection in the mirror. “Why didn’t we ever get together? For real, I mean,” he finally asked.
“You really want me to answer that?”
His eyes found hers in the mirror. “Yes. I do.”
Amelie let herself sink further into the water until she was submerged up to her chin. “I don’t know. I would guess it has to do with timing, mostly.”
Jack unbuttoned his shirt, slipped out of his jeans, and climbed in the bathtub. He positioned himself behind her and leaned back, resting the back of her head on his chest. They sat there like that for a long time until their bodies were shriveled.
“If I didn’t go through with it… if I don’t marry her… do you think it could ever work between the two of us?”
