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“Just like that?” he asked.
I stared at the celling. Even in the dark I knew every crevice. “Just like that.”
“I can go again—if you give me a few minutes.”
“No, thank you,” I said. He didn’t say anything after that, not like guys would, he simp
ly stood and dressed, and then he was gone.
But it turns out my mother had been right about feeding stray cats. He was back the night after that, and the next and the next after that. It became routine— stress relief, a workout. The sex was mediocre, like most things in my life at that point. But it was reliable.
That situation lasted for a few months, and then he met someone. Six months went by where we became nothing more than strangers. I didn’t miss him. I had enough to keep me busy where missing is concerned. Still, he never looked me in the eye when I passed them in the hall.
Now, here he is, leaning against my bar like old times, back as though he’d never left.
“Didn’t want to bring your girlfriend with you?” My eyes are firmly on Instalook. I prefer that reality to the one standing before me.
“I’m not into threesomes.”
“That’s too bad.” I raise my brow and focus on the Dunns. I bet they’re good at sex. I bet it’s hot, adventurous. Just like them.
“Anyway, neither is she, probably. She broke up with me.”
I widen my eyes but I don’t meet his. “Shocker.”
“Geez. What’s your deal?”
“I don’t have a deal.”
From my periphery, I see him remove a lighter from his pocket. He’s lighting a joint. His usual tactic. To guys like Tyler this counts as foreplay. It’s all he knows of seduction. I wonder what Grant Dunn does for her. Actually, I don’t have to wonder. I know. For them, foreplay starts long before they hit the sheets. I can see it in their photos. In the gifts he chooses.
Soon, the sweet musky scent fills the air. “Fancy a toke?”
I look up then. For the first time, I get a good look at his face. Tyler looks different. He looks heartbroken. I’d know that look anywhere. I shrug, and that’s all it takes. It’s an invitation. It’s an acceptance. You can treat me however you want. I’ll be here. He plops down on the couch beside me.
I don’t move away.
“Whatcha lookin’ at there?” he asks. I can see that he’s trying to lighten the mood, but I’m not interested in talking. He passes the joint. I feel the burn on my fingertips. Sometimes pain is necessary. He stares at the screen, and then he looks up at me and smiles. “Friends of yours?”
“Not yet,” I say, taking a long pull. He sticks his bottom lip out. I hold my breath. I let the smoke fill my lungs and overtake my soul.
“They seem uppity,” he says, studying their faces. “Almost too happy, ya know?”
I don’t know. I don’t say this though. Maybe it’s because we’re both high, both in the safe zone, but I think I probably don’t have to. And yet, I feel a bit of rage. Who is he to insult something so pure?
When I’m sufficiently high, I turn to him. “Fancy a fuck?”
He grins. “That’s what I’ve come for.”
Afterward, I bring my laptop to bed. I shuffle through photos of Grant and Josie Dunn. At some point, I look over at a sleeping Tyler, and I realize it’s time to up my game.
Chapter Eleven
Josie
After I pick up Avery from dance, I decide to stop by that sandwich shop Grant and I visited. I know Avery won’t turn down an afternoon snack, and I can’t stop thinking about that Americano. The truth is, I hate Americano. What I really want, more than anything, is that sandwich I saw on the menu. Maybe it’ll give me some pep; maybe it’ll settle my stomach. Also, I haven’t been able to put it out of my mind. It goes against my diet plan, for sure, but it costs roughly the same amount as an Americano, and that’s what really matters. Plus, on the off chance I get busted, I can always say it was for Avery. I doubt Grant would check. He doesn’t like to involve the kids in these things.
Either he’d believe me, or he wouldn’t.
