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“Yes,” I tell him and I feel something building. Sadness. Dizziness. Pure unadulterated longing. I guess she didn’t tell him about me, about our meeting in the alley or in the park. I sigh. “I remember that she loved them.”
His eyes widen. “Sure,” he smirks. “Chips would be great.” The look on his face is to die for. “Hey, why not throw in a double order.”
I don’t tell him she won’t need his surprise because she’s already been to lunch and she had a salad. I can’t say that, even though I want to. It’s too early in the game for thoughtless mishaps.
Anyway, he’d know if he’d checked her Instalook account. Instead, he’s focused on me. He watches closely as I ring up the order. You really ought to be more thorough, Grant Dunn. But then you’re a doctor, and you’re probably pretty busy. In fact, I know you are.
“Excuse me?”
I eye him confused.
“You just said, I know you are…”
“No I didn’t.”
He cocks his head. “I’m pretty sure you called me… Josh.”
“I was singing,” I say pointing to the sound system. “I’m not very good. Obviously,” I laugh. “Not if people think I’m mumbling.”
He starts to speak, and then he presses his lips together and shakes his head slightly. “Well, practice makes perfect.”
I nod. That it does. I know. I studied the images of the before and afters on his website. I’m a sucker for that sort of thing, and I wonder what I might look like with a few enhancements. I wonder if he finds that kind of perfection attractive. Of course, he does. Look at his wife. I want to ask him about his work. But I’ve found it’s better to figure out things organically, so I finish making his wife’s sandwich instead.
That night as I’m walking home after my shift, simultaneously scrolling Instalook and imagining the conversation that could have been, I see headlights circle around, and something in the pit of my stomach stirs.
“Izzy?” I hear a voice call in the dark. I know it instantly.
I crane my neck into the darkness to make sure I’m not hearing things.
“Hey,” he says when my eyes lock in on his. The gravel crunches beneath the tires as he pulls the car slowly along side me. “Need a ride?”
You need to be more careful, Izzy. Josh’s voice rings in my ears. I don’t want to listen, but I know better. It won’t go away. It refuses to die like the rest of him. “That’s okay,” I say. “I don’t have too far to go.”
“Seriously,” he counters. “It seems we’re headed in the same direction. It’s really no trouble.”
Don’t do it, Izzy. Smart people don’t get in the car with strangers. But Grant Dunn isn’t a stranger.
I shake my head. “I’m good, really.”
“Izzy,” he says, and I have to admit I do like the way my name sounds coming from his lips. “I don’t want to sound overprotective, but you shouldn’t be walking alone after dark.”
I shrug. He sounds like Josh now, and something
in me softens. I want to tell him I wouldn’t be walking if we hadn’t had those teenagers linger at closing time. I wanted to tell him that as they finally left in their fancy cars and I locked up, I realized I’d already missed my bus. “Come on,” he urges, coming to a complete stop. “It’s nothing, really.”
Hardly, I want to tell him. But instead, I simply nod and walk around to the passenger door. My breath quickens. I might hyperventilate. My head is spinning. I’m wracking my brain, trying to figure out how to get him to drop me off somewhere—anywhere—other than my dumpy apartment complex. Although, everywhere on my side of town is too shabby for the likes of Grant Dunn, so even if I could come up with something on the fly, I don’t know where that might be.
He looks over at me. “This side of town always makes me a bit nostalgic,” he tells me, coolly. “It’s where Josie and I first lived together. Back when I was pre-med.”
“Oh,” I say, and I’m shocked. My breath steadies now that I can see he’s willing to let me in. Not just in his car, either.
I look over. He’s already looking. “You remind me a bit of her.”
His expression catches me off guard. I feel dizzy at the thought that I remind him of someone as brilliant as his wife.
“She’s gorgeous,” I tell him. It sounds silly, girlish, once it’s out of my mouth and out in the open. Instantly I wish I could take it back.
“So are you,” he murmurs. My cheeks warm. My whole body feels like it’s floating. I’m not in the car; I’m above it, looking down on me, a different, luckier version of myself. Suddenly, he brings me back. He places his hand on mine, and I have to say, I hadn’t seen that coming.
