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Lie even if they catch you red-handed. Remain faithful to your lies even in the face of overwhelming evidence. I meet his gaze, letting a small smirk convey the simmering fury. Rage is important when you’re trying to conceal the truth. “You're the one who's married.”
He slaps the wall hard. A painting falls to the floor. Losing your temper can be an expensive mistake. We both stare at it. Eventually, he shakes his head and leaves the room. He leaves things where they are. I try harder. I take a few deep breaths. Focus on blue, I hear the voice say. Don’t let them break you.
“I knew it was a matter of time before you brought that up,” he calls from the other room. I ignore him and go into the bathroom and splash cold water on my face. I have to get myself in check. I don’t want Grant to see this side of me. He won’t understand.
I run the water and I sit on the edge of the tub. I hold my breath and count to ten. I hear him speaking, but my head is spinning. I’m five again and on a merry-go-round and I want off. I don’t want to hear what he’s saying. I put my head between my knees. Blue. Blue is all I see.
Eventually, I hear the front door open and close
Grant doesn’t come back for the rest of the night. I know because I don’t sleep. I toss and I turn. And I wait.
The next morning I find him in the kitchen humming, making pancakes. I dozed off sometime just after dawn.
“Grant,” I say leaning against the counter. “I’m sorry about last night,” I tell him. I’ve had a lot of time to think. He’s right about Tyler. He isn’t good for me. “I shouldn’t have mentioned your wife—it's really none of my business.”
He doesn’t respond, and he doesn’t look at me. He doesn’t even stop humming. He’s focused on the pancakes. “Timing is everything, Izzy. One second too long over the heat, and these babies will be useless to us.”
I don’t know what he means but I don’t care. I need to make this right. I need to make peace. “I think you were right before.” He looks up. I laugh nervously. “I need to learn whose business is whose.”
“You're right about that,” he agrees. He nods for me to come closer. I stand on my tippy-toes and kiss him full on the mouth.
He pulls away. “Timing,” he smiles. I watch as he tosses the cooked pancakes onto a plate. “And now that we’re both clear where the other stands, it’s all good.”
I exhale slowly. I hop up on the counter beside where he works. I study his capable hands. He moves like music. Like a symphony.
“Plus,” he tells me, moving closer. “It’s our last day together, we might as well make the most of it.” He presses a bit of batter to the tip of my nose.
I don't know what he means by last day together. I don’t know whether he means here at the cabin or in general. The scary part is, it could be either. Which is why I vow right then and there to make this the best day ever so that it won't be our last. I need him to want more. I'm not ready to go back to that lonely apartment, or that dead end job, or Tyler and his boyish sex. I’ll work on my issues. All of them. Even the ones he doesn’t know about.
“You shouldn’t underestimate me, Grant Dunn,” I say playfully.
He cocks his head, his fingers never stop working their magic. “I’d like to hear about your work,” I say. “About the way you make things beautiful.”
He nods. But he doesn’t say anything further. So I don’t either. But that doesn’t stop me from thinking. I’m ready to be serious. Finally, someone wants that for me— he wants that for us.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Josie
It’s true. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. Grant returns from his weekend at the cabin more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him. That Monday, he surprises Avery by personally taking her to school. He has his attorney meet them there. They have no proof that she’s harassed anyone, and I don’t know exactly what was said, but I know a formal apology was issued.
I post it on Instalook. People appreciate knowing what I’ve been dealing with. They’re appalled on my behalf, and it makes me realize I have been dealing with a lot. I wasn’t imaging it.
Monday evening Grant comes home at a decent hour and announces he’s taking me to dinner. He doesn’t tell me what to wear, but seems pleased by my choice. He doesn’t request sex, and when I offer the usual blow job instead, he surprises me with a bracelet.
“Do you like it?” he asks earnestly. “I wasn’t sure it was your style.”
“I love it,” I tell him. It’s the truth.
He watches me reapply my makeup. “Aren’t you going to show it off to your friends?”
I shake my head. “I’m thinking of taking a break from the internet.” This is partly true, but also, I’ve received so many comments and messages about the Avery/bully situation and how everything is taken so far these days that it seems odd to brandish jewelry at a time like this.
He looks concerned.
“You look nice,” I say, adjusting his tie. I don’t know where he’s taking me, he hasn’t said, but dressed like this, I know it’s somewhere good.
“What’s up with the break?” he asks with a nod and I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy.
