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“And you lied.”
I press my lips together. Guilty people hate it when accusations are thrown around. We're wrong often enough to know when we aren't, and often enough to know how little it matters. You screw up enough and everyone just assumes you've screwed up again because that’s who you are.
Of course, his accusation is correct. What bothers me is it wasn’t that I lied to save my roommate. That’s what he’s thinking. I just never cared for smoothies. I’ve never understood why anyone wants to drink their calori
es? Of course, this was before I understood what true hunger felt like. Now, I know better. Now, I know what leads to such nonsense. Starvation. It’s a gnawing, awful feeling. It’s like something invisible trying to tear its way out of you. And until you feed that something, the clawing never stops.
Whatever. They can starve me all they want. But I will not let them break me. I will play their games for as long as it takes. I will play them until I learn how to win. There is simply no alternative. This is who I am.
The man in the white coat repeats his statement. “You lied, Mrs. Anderson. The question is…why?”
“I take it that’s not considered mastery?”
He huffs. “You might think you’re being cute, but that won’t help you now, not in here. And especially not with me.”
“I don't know what you want me to say.”
“I want you to say you understand why you’re here, and why we’re doing this.”
I glance down at the book and scan the code of honor written into the agreement.
* * *
1. Seek mastery in all areas.
2. Never ignore a friend in need, in danger, or in trouble.
3. Submit to a cause greater than oneself.
4. Remain obedient to furthering the mission.
5. Never abandon a group to which you owe your success.
6. Serve your leaders with unwavering devotion.
7. Your honor is more important than your life.
8. Never deny your spouse what is rightfully theirs. Strength is found in submission.
9. Family is the cornerstone of everything. Care for them faithfully.
10. The world is governed by appearances. Act accordingly.
11. Cleanse your home. Purify your heart.
12. Your body is your temple. Treat it as such.
13. Keep counsel. Guard your reputation with your life.
14. Never fear harming another with just cause.
15. Seek like-minded individuals to walk the path of greatness.
16. Strive for excellence at all costs.
* * *
“It’s all written,” I tell him. “That’s why I’m here.” I don’t say it’s because I was only looking for a meal ticket and failed to read the fine print. Sometimes less is more.
