Page 13 of Fever Dream


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She gave me the once-over.“You must have me confused with someone else.”

“Forgive me.I have a lot of patients.”

“I saw Charles’s mother standing off to the side of the living room, watching me, her arms folded across her chest, her eyes piercing.She didn’t smile.She didn’t say a word.But there was something in her stance, in the way she held herself, that said she was in control.This was her business, her life; she was the one in charge.”

“It felt like a mistake going to the party?”

“Worse.My heart sank.I felt trapped.I felt like I couldn’t get out of there—that I couldn’t run if I wanted to, and I didn’t want to.I’d committed myself to meeting Charles, and I would have felt like an idiot if I’d run away.So I waited.”

“You waited?”

“Yes, and then I waited some more.I waited while he finished his conversation.I studied family photos, the paintings on the wall, books that lined their shelves, as though my life depended on it.After a while, I noticed Charles was gone.He was no longer in the center of the room.My eyes scanned the crowd.I didn’t see him anywhere, but when I turned around, he and his mother were headed in my direction.He came up to me, a small smile on his lips.”

“You don’t think you belong here, Grace?”

“Where?In this place?”

“Sure.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I’ll tell you, but I’d like something in return.”

“What’s that?”

“You have to agree: no more hydrotherapy.”

“Is that all?”

“No, actually.”

“Well, then, what?”

“I want a private room.”

“You don’t like your new roommate.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You know I can’t agree with these demands, Grace.This is not how things work here.”

“You can’t keep me here forever.”

She seems unsure of herself.It’s the first time I suspect a chink in her armor.Patient believes her being institutionalized is some sort of misunderstanding.She has not come to terms with her illness.“Why is that?”

“My family is not dead, and I did not kill them.I am not crazy.”

“Where do you think they are?Your family?”

“I told you.”

“Tell me again.”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?Or you don’t want to say?”

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