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While the men took the bags in the house, Nelda and Bernice swarmed Pam.
“What’d you do? You look fabulous. I need to get a little freshening up,” Bernice said, grabbing Pam’s chin to tip toward what was left of the sunlight.
“Me too,” Nelda said. “I’ll need to borrow some money from you, however. Bernice is right. You look great. Did you have your boobs enlarged? Look at the size of these things!”
The women both stuck out their hands and started to feel Pam’s breasts.
Pam pushed their hands off her body, hoping Dan wasn’t watching from the kitchen.
“Stop assaulting me, you two, honest to God.”
“Did you go to the same plastic surgeon?” Bernice asked.
“I’ll tell you later. We just brought Jake back from the hospital. He has lung cancer.”
She lowered her head, feeling finally returning to her, and began to weep while the women comforted her.
“How awful. I’m so sorry,” Nelda said, petting her daughter, smoothing her hair away from her face.
“This is just terrible news,” Bernice said. “Poor Pam! You have the worst luck with men.”
“She really does. We need to see if Buddy and Ted have any eligible friends.”
“Don’t do me any favors,” Pam grumbled.
“Let’s get in the house,” Bernice said, pushing Pam. “Those two knuckleheads will have us camping on the beach if we don’t tell them where to park our bags.”
“Bernice, where’s Oscar?”
“I’ll tell you later. It’s not as bad as it sounds, but I still get upset. There’s another woman…”
“Ugh, I’m so sorry. Does it ever end? Come inside. Hocus has your rooms ready,” Pam replied, already weary, and the weekend was just beginning.
“Not Hocus! Honest to God, I’m not in the mood,” Bernice said. “She always looks at me like she’s reading my mind.”
“She has ESP, Bernie,” Nelda said. “She probably is reading it, so you’d better clear it out right now.”
With their arms around Pam, the women led the way into the house.
“I have to make sure I look okay. I don’t want Jake to see me crying.”
“Look, is that him at the table? He’s eating. Surely that’s a good sign,” Bernice said.
“He looks perfectly fine to me.”
“Mum’s the word,” Pam whispered. “Pretend you don’t know.”
Everyone greeted the grandmothers, Lisa and Ryan making over them, and Hocus going out of her way to make Bernice uncomfortable, looking at her sidelong, genuflecting, letting her eyes flutter a little like they were about to roll back in her head, in character for a soothsayer.
Laughing at her own antics when Bernice moved away from her, she pulled chairs out for the women to sit, and began setting bowls and platters on the table.
“Help yourselves,” she said. “This is the last supper, so to speak, until our buffet breakfast tomorrow, and that’s catered, so I have no idea what you’re getting.”
“It’ll be delicious,” Pam said, calming down. Focusing on the party would help her move out of the funk. “It’s a full breakfast with a carving station and salad bars, and an omelet and waffle bar. The amount of food is ridiculous.”
“I’m sorry I had to steal your last minutes of peace before this shindig starts,” Jake said, reaching out for Pam’s hand. “My father always used to say a friend in need was a pain in the ass.”
“Fainting was a good distraction,” Pam said, squeezing his hand.
