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“What should we do?” Devon asked.
“Do you feel like driving into town with me? I’ll go to the drugstore and get a test.”
“I’ll get dressed,” he said, feeling disconnected from the entire conversation.
With Mike dead, if Aisling was pregnant, what would that mean for their friendship? He’d be Uncle Devon. They’d fix up a nursery in a corner of the master bedroom.
When he walked back out, she’d pulled her hair into a ponytail and had a football team jacket on that belonged to Mike; it was huge, the sleeves pushed up over her little hands. Her wearing the jacket felt right to Devon.
“I found this way in back of your coat closet,” she said, pointing toMike Sainton the left side.
Devon turned her around and sawSaintembroidered across the back. “St. Paul’s Senior Varsity Football. I have no idea why this was in my closet. I guess so you could find it now. I wonder if it means you’re having a boy.”
“I’m not sure I’m pregnant yet. It could be the shock of everything. I figured that was why I missed in the first place.”
Looking down at her, he wanted to pull her body to his, not for any other reason than he just wanted to hold her.
“I guess we should go,” he said, fighting the urge.
She might have sensed what he was feeling, because she gave him a quick, light hug. “Devon Lyon, I cannot imagine my life without you right now.”
He led the way through the kitchen to the garage. They’d drive down the mountainside in silence. Going into town together felt strange, although they’d done it before. But this time, Mike wasn’t along for the ride.
“He wanted to have kids right away. I wasn’t ready. If I am pregnant, it was a failure of prevention, if you get my drift. We were always careful. At least I was.”
“I wondered,” Devon said, winking at her. “He never said.”
“He didn’t tell you about our sex life?”
“Mike? No way. He was protective of his life with you. We were best buddies, but there was a line that we didn’t cross. I think he was concerned because I didn’t date.”
“Why don’t you?” she asked.
“Never found anyone I wanted to spend time with, to tell you the truth. I might be a confirmed bachelor. I read that somewhere.A man who has no need to be in a romantic partnership with another human.”
“You seem to like being with me,” Aisling said, smiling.
“I do, I do. But you’re Mike’s wife. So we’ll just be friends.”
She wondered what that meant but didn’t pursue it further. Mike had only been gone six weeks. Someone at work had asked her inappropriately in front of a group of people if she was going to get married again, and everyone had gasped. She’d ignored the inquirer, but later thought that she would probably get married someday.
At that moment, she longed to take Devon’s hand to hold, but it would be weird, like holding her brother’s hand.
“Friends works for me,” she said, unable to think beyond that moment. “I can’t believe we’re going to the drugstore to get a pregnancy test.”
“Mike should be here.”
“I feel sort of like he is,” Aisling said. “Are you missing him right now? I feel okay about you and me doing this. Be sure to take one day at a time, Devon. If you try to go too far forward, it will only backfire. I got into the car blue, and now I’m happy. I go back and forth like a crazy person.”
“Me too,” he said, realizing he usually echoed whatever it was she was feeling with “me too,” too.
“Ugh, I forgot it’s Black Friday,” she moaned, the traffic at a standstill.
“It’s okay,” he said. “We don’t have anything else to do, do we?”
“No. I’m feeling more and more like a zombie.”
“Well, at least you might have an excuse,” he replied, laughing. “What’s my excuse?”
