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“How bad can it be?”

“I had one-night stands with guys who were too young for me, or not smart enough, or dangerous. I’m lucky I didn’t get killed.”

“So that’s how you kept yourself safe.”

She looked at him sidelong. “I’ve never thought of it that way, but yes. There was no threat of a future with any of them. And then I met you. Now I’m trying not to regret the past fifteen years.”

“When you think of it, me marrying my pregnant girlfriend whom I didn’t love was the exact same thing. It kept me safe. The deed was done, the decision made for me. My mother almost had a heart attack when I told her I was marrying Clare. She was a good Christian girl, but not Italian and not Catholic. And she was pregnant. I’m glad my sons were cute babies.”

Lila slapped her thigh laughing at that. “I’m glad we don’t have to worry about our parents caring who we’re with.”

“I’m sure Bob Conner isn’t thrilled you’re with me. He’s been fighting my family for thirty years.”

“Only because of my mom and Big Mike.”

“Nah, it went deeper than that. The county versus the union, I think.”

Charlie glanced around the yard, at the landscape lighting that illuminated the perimeter, making the ranch look like it was floating in space. “It’s so isolated. Have you always lived up here?”

“Always. I thought it was so my father could control us. Notice that they leave the place to me and move to dreamy La Jolla, and right on the beach, I might add. How idyllic would that have been for a kid growing up? Instead, I was here with no one.”

“What about Devon?”

“Ha! Devon is six years younger than me. I was living here alone in isolation when he was in high school. And by then, he had Mike.”

“I’m sorry,” Charlie said. “It really does suck. I hope you’ll get to the bottom of it for your own well-being. And if we have kids…”

“So! You brought it up,” she said, smiling. “I was worried you wouldn’t want to have more kids.”

“I want to have children with the woman I love. I love my kids so much, but it has been hard on them. It might be easier for children for the parents to get a divorce when they are younger. My boys are still sad we don’t have a perfect family any longer. It was a façade they grew up with. Of course, Clare couldn’t just leave it at her indiscretion with Harry. She had to blame me and say I never loved her, which I’ve never admitted.”

“Oh, how sad. Your boys think you didn’t love their mother?”

“They know I didn’t.”

“Charlie, you probably grew to love her in some ways. You should clarify that. You might not feel like you love her after discovering she’s been cheating on you, but if you get beyond that, of course you loved her. You were faithful to her, correct?”

“I was faithful.”

“You supported her; you raised two boys with her. I’m not sure what the debate is. You learned to love your wife, period. You need to have that talk with your boys so they won’t be messed up about love.”

“You might have something there. I keep forgetting I can still have an impact even though they’re grown.”

Yawning, Charlie reached for her arm to see her watch. “Ugh, I’m going to sleep earlier and earlier every night.”

“The doctor said it would take a couple of months for your energy to return. Just listen to your body.” She stood and held out a hand for him. “Come on, let me tuck you in.”

She didn’t share and he didn’t inquire about what she would do with the first free night she’d had since he’d gone into the hospital. As soon as he was in bed, she was uncorking a bottle and sitting out on the terrace wrapped in a blanket. She’d drink the entire thing.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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