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“I’ll change her diaper and be right back.”
He got out of bed and she saw his buns flex through the knit fabric, stirring desire within her. She had to tell him before they did anything. Once, when they were on the couch together during that first week, they’d taken their jeans off but kept their underpants on. She almost told him her secret then.
“This feels like something a teenager would do,” she’d said, embarrassed. “Do you not want to have sex with me?”
“That’s not it at all, Katy. We’ve just begun a relationship. It hasn’t even been a week. I don’t want you to have any regrets about us being together.”
They didn’t do it that night, but when they did a little exploration, she almost told him then. She flew back to San Diego the next day, so there were no other chances for honesty.
It was now or never.
He came back from the nursery and got in next to her. Not wasting a second, he pulled her to him and kissed her, running his hands over her.
“Get all this off,” he said, tugging on her t-shirt.
“Adam, I have to tell you something,” she said, raising her arms so he could get the shirt off.
He kissed her breasts, his arms around her body. “Go for it,” he muttered. “Take these off.”
Pulling her underpants down, he was eager to move forward. They’d waited long enough.
“I’ve never had sex.”
That got his attention. “You’ve never done it?”
“No. I’m a virgin, although I hate how that sounds.”
He reared back, trying to focus on her face in the darkened room. Reaching over to the side table, he switched on the light and pulled her over, pulling up her underpants while he was at it.
“Aw, don’t do that,” she protested. “I want to make love to you.”
“Yeah, but we need to make sure that it’s what you really want, Katy. I’m in deep doo-doo with Adelaide’s maniac mother. It could go on forever.”
He cringed, sorry he brought that up right before they were ostensibly going to have sex.
“I know and I’ll support you through that.”
He lay back against the pillow with her in his arms. “We don’t need to rush into this,” he said.
“I don’t feel like we’re rushing, Adam. We’ve been together for over a month, and if you consider the summer flirtation, longer than that. I want you. I want to take this to the next level, whatever that means.”
Her hand was on his abdomen and she inched down farther below the elastic on his underpants, cradling him in her palm.
“I want this inside of me,” she whispered. “I’ve been thinking about it, how it feels in my hand, and now I want to know what it’s like.”
“I’ll be right back,” he said, getting out of bed. He returned with a bath towel. “For under your hips, in case you bleed.”
Hugging her, he stuck his thumb in her underpants and pulled them down again, waiting while she tugged them over her feet, scared and exhilarated and thrilled. She did the same thing to him, pulling his underwear down, everything in full view for the first time.
She looked down at him, everything larger than life in the lamplight and had her first misgiving.
“I’m not sure that will fit,” she said, pointing.
“I’ll make it fit,” he said, his voice husky. “Don’t you worry about that. But not yet. I need to make sure you’re ready.”
“I’m ready, Adam,” she said in a shaky voice, longing permeating every inch of her body.
“No, you’re not. Trust me, you’ll know when you’re ready.”
