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I avoided looking at him, thinking of college days and the way I’d chosen to survive. I wasn’t proud of it, but I wasn’t exactly ashamed, either. While my girlfriends were giving their bodies away, I just took money for doing the same thing. My roommates were from semi-wealthy families; Samantha’s mother was a doctor, and so was Alison’s dad. Joan’s father was a lawyer. I didn’t have a father then. I knew I was making rationalizations to justify it, but I’d wanted what my roommates had, and doing research for grad students wasn’t going to get it for me.
Mark talked, and I listened, and I knew that I would never tell him about my past. I was physically attracted to him, but mentally? No.
We stuffed all my purchases into his sedan. I felt growing uncertainty as we got Jessie into the car seat and headed back to my apartment.
“I hope I’m doing the right thing.”
“It sounds like you didn’t have a choice. CPS said the baby could stay with you or come to the station until they figured out the next step. Abandoned babies are often taken to the ER and stay in the hospital nursery until we make arrangements with a foster family, so you did a good thing.”
“My gut response was to save the baby. Who do I think I am that I can save her?”
“Something tells me you’ll be fine. Can you take one day at a time?”
“I don’t see any other way at this point.”
