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I let out a long breath, rubbing my eyes. “Not so great. The ocean hasn’t brought me the same clarity as usual. I don’t know how to wait for her to finish whatever she wants to do. I feel like if I don’t go after her, then I’ll lose her forever. But that would be going against her wishes, and I don’t want to do that.”
“Asa, honey, I love you so much, and you’ve become a great man. In your efforts to be the complete opposite of Orson, though, you might have taken the perfect thing a little too far, and I’m saying that as your mother who loves you dearly. It’s okay to break a rule, to go after what you want, to say hell with it all, and be selfish for once in your life.”
“I….” I swallowed, feeling slightly shocked by my mother.
“I know. It’s not what you expect me to say, but honey, take it from someone who didn’t go after her heart and settled. Time goes by too quickly. In many ways, Samson thought he could do one job and return to me, but it ended up being more complex than he could’ve ever imagined. At that point, he felt committed to staying the course. Don’t let that happen to Fin. I know how you feel about her and how she feels about you. Go. After. Her.”
“It’s that simple?”
“Yes. Fin is brilliant, but she’s also stubborn. She probably thinks she’s doing you a favor by shielding you, but all she’s doing is keeping herself from experiencing joy. You just have to show her you’re more tenacious and can get your hands dirty.” She paused, taking a breath, and I knew she was gearing up to tell me something I might not want to hear. “I think Cohen could help you.”
“Oh, um, I dunno.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t want his help. There was just this weird tension since the whole incident when Fin had been kidnapped by the Council that made it awkward. But maybe that was just on me? He was working with Samson now, so that had to mean he was good.
“What does Sam—, I mean Dad, think?”
“Honey, no one is forcing you to call him Dad. We both know you didn’t grow up knowing he was your father, and the man who claimed to be wasn’t worthy of the title. He and Sawyer had a previous relationship, so it was easier for her. It took her a while to call me mom, and I didn’t rush her. It will be better when it’s natural for you and him. So, don’t feel guilty about it at all.”
Sighing, I rubbed my face, spreading sand over my forehead. I’d forgotten I’d been playing with it as I sat staring out into the ocean for answers.
“Yeah, I know.”
Standing up, I dusted off my pants and shook the sand from my clothes. Usually, the sand didn’t bother me because the surfing was worth it. When all I did was sit in it, I found it a bit of a nuisance.
“As for Samson, he thinks Cohen is probably already looking into it more despite Henry saying to stop. He thinks Cohen has a bit of a crush on Fin. Is that why you hesitate to reach out? Are you feeling unsure of your role in her life?”
It might be weird to talk about your love life with your mom for some people, but it wasn’t for me. My mom and I were super close, only having each other growing up, and I shared practically everything with her.
“I don’t know what it is. When I met him, it was after she’d been taken. He came in cocky, and I didn’t know how to take him. Since then, I know they’ve worked on a few things, but she was always cautious in choosing her words and didn’t say much about it. I kept waiting for her to bring it up. Even Sawyer said something to me, but Fin never did, so I guess I shoved it aside, figuring I didn’t have to look at that piece too closely if she wasn’t going to.”
I started to head back to the beach house I was staying in; the sun almost set at this point. My stomach growled, reminding me I was hungry as well and I would need to figure something out to eat.
“I don’t know what it feels like to love more than one person romantically at a time, but I know your sister does, and she makes it work. If you’re struggling, talk to one of the guys. Ollie and Ty would know how you’re feeling. I’m not saying you’ll find yourself in a similar situation, but if you’re worried about it, I think you’ll feel better if you have all the information. You were always one who liked to be prepared as a child.”
Climbing the stairs that led to the back of the property, I thought about what she said and how right she was. I didn’t do well with uncertainty. Even if this wasn’t the direction my life went in, maybe I needed to figure out if I could be okay with it first, and there was no time like the present to do that. Fin was hiding, giving me the perfect time to figure out my own mind and heart.
“You’re absolutely right, Mom. Thanks. I’ll give Cohen a call and see if he has any leads. It’s a good place to start.”
“I’m so glad I could help. I’ve been worried about you. Let me know if you need anything else. I love you, Son.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
I ended the call, sliding it back into my pocket as I walked over to the water pump. Turning it on, I rinsed my feet and shins free of sand. I snagged a towel off the rail that had been lying in the sun, and I dried my feet as I hopped into the back door.
Walking into the kitchen, I debated if I wanted to fix something or order in tonight before I dug my head out of my ass and called the one person I should’ve called from the start.
“I ordered some Chinese food,” a voice said as I turned on the overhead light.
“Jesus Christ!” I shouted, jumping back at the sound. When I realized I wasn’t about to be attacked, I stopped, holding the doorway as my heart returned to normal.
“Why am I not surprised you’re here?” I said, bending at the waist as I peered at him.
“Have you been thinking about me, pretty boy?” he teased.
He slid off the barstool he’d been perched on and walked toward me. As he neared, I took in his tall frame, disheveled dark blond hair, and the wrinkles on his clothes. Cohen could tease all he wanted, deny he felt more for Fin than just a friend, but the facts were staring at me in the face. I could either be brave and face them like my mom suggested or keep my head buried in the sand, potentially losing her forever.
Since I was finding I had a strong dislike for sand, I think it was time to face this obstacle head-on and discover where that left me.
