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He was darkness walking. There was a permanent shadow over him, and even though I was convinced he’d never physically hurt me, there was an element of fear there that some part of me found exhilarating.
In short…
I want all of them. I want to make all three my boyfriends, I realized with my tipsy brain. And even though I didn’t anticipate anything happening tonight between Asher and me, Damian and me, or all three of us, a nervous and excited part of me wanted to see what would happen.
Either way, I had a feeling it would be a good time. Well, as long as the boys continued to be on good—by which I meantnicest—behavior.
“This is amazing,” I said, finishing off my glass.
“Yeah, so, I feel as though you chugging the last half of that glass wasn’t the best of ideas,” Asher said. “I’m halfway through mine, and I’m already feeling it, which is pretty incredible.”
“Yeah, this shit could strip the paint off my car,” Damian said, giving a rough shake to his head. “I had my doubts it was as potent as you said, especially after I tasted it, but fuck.”
He downed the rest of his and poured us both another glass.
“What the hell,” Asher said, chugging the rest of his, too.
Damian poured him another glass and sat the pitcher back in the little hole he’d dug out to hold it. “The sun will be going down soon. You guys wanna walk around to the fire pit?”
“Oooh, you have a fire pit?” I asked, then snorted as my head fell back. It wasn’t nearly that funny, but tipsy Tempe had arrived. “What am I saying?Of course,you have a fire pit! Do you stoke it with the bones of your enemies?”
As soon as I said it, I wished I hadn’t, expecting him to take offense. Instead, he smiled. “As a matter of fact, Ido!But since I’m here with Wild Temperance, instead of the lost lamb, you don’t have to worry. Your bones are safe.”
I smiled back as he stood. “Well, sinceI’mhere with…” I closed one eye and scrunched up my face as I thought of something witty to say. “Shit. You don’t have a good pun for your name. They’re all bad.” Asher snorted behind me. “Damn, well, since I’m here with Not-a-Dick-Damian, I’ll accept the invite.” I thrust a hand in the air, and he grabbed it and pulled hard enough to vault me up and into his arms, but not enough to hurt. Some of the liquid in my glass sloshed out, but not enough to matter.
I squealed and then laughed, my head spinning at the change in altitude. The glasses we drank out of wereverytall but thin, and I was a lightweight, anyway. A low body fat percentage was both good and bad when drinking.
Damian placed a hand around my waist and guided me down the beach while Asher carried the bucket of ice and the pitcher. I briefly thought it was rude, but when I looked back at him, he smiled and gave me a wink. He didn’t seem to mind. In fact, Asher seemed genuinely happy.
The fire pit was huge, at least six feet across. I’d seen bigger back in Indiana, but those were roughly built pits. Just holes in the ground really. This was a professionally built firepit with several stone benches all around it. It was beautiful. There was even a large built-in grill off to one side of it with a full counter and cabinets on either side. Since it didn’t rain often in this part of California, there was no real reason to put it under shelter.
We sat for a while, just listening to the ocean and drinking. I drank my second glass a bit slower, and looking over at the guys, it seemed they had, too.Ha!I thought. I found some weird sense of satisfaction in surprising them. I guess it was because I felt as though Damian always underestimated me. Any win with him was a big win.
“What was your dad like?” Damian asked suddenly. I couldn’t deny the shock that rolled over me. My eyes betrayed me, and he shrugged after noticing. “Sorry if that’s rude. I just haven’t met anyone with normal parents. A couple of the guys have nice parents, but they’re still rich assholes. You seem to genuinely like your parents.”
I shrugged. “My dad and I were close, but my mom was kind of an asshole, too,” I said, sighing. “My dad was the kind of guy everyone liked and with good reason. He helped anyone he came across when he could. He was funny, sweet, and he was very charismatic. When I was sick, he’d stay home with me and hold me. Put cold or warm washcloths on my head—depending on the type of sickness I had—and run his fingers through my hair. When he had time, he’d take me into the garage and show me how to tinker around on old cars.
“He taught me all the basics. How to change brakes and brake lines, how to bleed them, and how to change my oil and all the other necessary maintenance stuff. When I got older, he taught me more advanced stuff. We rebuilt engines and transmissions. I learned all about body work, though he never touched painting, so I never did, either. He had to work a lot to pay bills and make ends meet, but when we had time together, he always wanted to watch movies, play a board game, or anything else he could to spend time with me. He used to take me camping a lot, and he always showed up at all my archery competitions and matches when I was in karate. He was a great dad.”
I’d been staring off into the ocean as I talked. It was easier to do that than look into their eyes when I spoke of him. When I looked over at Damian, he had a look I’d never seen before. I couldn’t quite figure it out. It was a strange mix of sadness, surprise, interest… and longing? If his dad was as bad as he made him sound—and as bad as I figured him to be—I could see why.
His eyes looked down at his glass as his thumbs played with the condensation on the outside of it. “I wonder what he’d think of me.” His voice was so quiet. I barely heard it over the gentle waves. It was like he was looking at himself for the first time, and it was oddly enough through my dad’s eyes.
“To be honest, he probably would have beat your ass by now. He was extremely overprotective.”
He didn’t look up, but one side of his mouth turned up as he nodded. “I figured as much.” Again, his voice was quiet and…sad.
“That being said,” I started, “the Damian I’ve been around tonight, I think he would have found pretty funny and charming. Maybe even nice.”
I did my best to keep the shock and near confusion out of my expression when his smile turned from forced and sad to genuine happiness. It was a small smile, but the energy of it changed. His shoulders even squared a little, and I noticed then how they’d caved in a bit before.
He felt vulnerable… unsure of himself,I realized.
“He sounds like a great guy,” Asher said. “I’m really sorry he’s gone. What about your mom? Why didn’t you guys get along?”
“She was a drunk. A mean one. She and my dad split up when I was young, and they played a back-and-forth game for years until all of us had had enough. She left after that, and I rarely ever heard out of her. She was too busy with her boyfriends and getting drunk to even speak to me.” I shrugged. “I hated her actions, but I still loved her. It took me a while to accept who she was and her addiction, but that doesn’t mean it erases the shit I went through. It was rough.”
“Did she ever abuse you?” Damian asked, a spark of anger in his expression.
