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“Take all the time you need, brother.” Zip got up and came toward me. He stared at me and then before I knew it, he was enveloping me in a tight embrace.
I didn’t hug him back.
He released me and then followed Boxer out of the room. Joni was slower to leave, first going to her brother and leaning down to whisper something in his ear. Colt nodded at whatever she said. She stood back up and squeezed his shoulder.
When Joni’s gaze darted to mine, I couldn’t detect the emotion in them when she looked at me. She sailed past me without a word or a touch. I wondered about her for a moment, before dismissing her from my mind.
“You’re still standing over there,” Colt said after the door shut. “When you should be over here.”
I walked to him and took a seat on his bed, close enough that I could feel the heat of him.
“What’s going on inside your head right now, Mia?”
“What’s going on inside your head right now, Colt?” I parroted back.
“Right now, I’m on a lot of drugs. I can’t even feel where they dug the bullet out of me, and I’m wondering why you’re acting the way you’re acting.”
“I tried to shoot Dev for you, Colt. And I missed. Do you know how fucking angry I am that I missed?” I swallowed. “Do you know what it was like for me? Thinking you were dying?” I didn’t pause to give him a chance to reply. “Do you know the fuckingterrorI felt about losing you? I watched you take a bullet, Colt. I had your blood on my hands.”
His face darkened with his own anger and impotence. “You don’t think I know that? Shit, Mia. My last thoughts before I passed out were of you. And the guilt I felt about bringing you deeper into this and not being able to protect you.”
“Your guilt is no match for mine,” I stated. “I got pulled into all of this because of Richie. I chose you because I wanted to. But Shelly?” I shook my head. “She’s not getting married, Colt. She’s not going to wake up, ever, and it’s because she chosemeas her family. Cheese died today. Shelly may as well have. Her body is still here but only for now. You got shot. How many more people will get hurt because of me?”
“What are you saying, darlin’? Because it sounds to me like you’re trying to walk away. But it’s too late for that now.”
My gaze slid from his to stare at the wall. A white, sterile hospital wall that gave no comfort to its patients or the people that came to visit loved ones.
“I’m not walking away,” I replied, my tone faint. “You’re right, it’s too late for that. I’m in too deep.” I reached out and grasped his hand—the one with the IV needle—and linked my fingers through his.
“I’m sorry about Shelly,” Colt said, his tone mournful. “I don’t know what else I can say.”
I nodded, tracing his knuckles. “This is the life, isn’t it?”
“Mia—”
“Just…can we sit here? And not say anything for a few minutes?”
He pulled his hand away from me and raised his arm to create a space next to him. I gently crawled in beside him, nestling myself at his non-injured side. Colt draped his arm around me and I pressed my head to his chest, listening to the sound of his breathing, grateful that at least one person I loved was still alive.
I awoke to the sound of Colt’s hospital door opening. Dying sunlight filtered through the blinds. I had somehow fallen asleep despite everything that had occurred.
Though Colt was warm next to me, I felt numb.
“How’s he doing?” Zip asked, his voice low.
“Okay, I guess. I don’t know. We fell asleep.” I gently sat up, careful not to jostle him. “I don’t want to leave him, but I have to…Shelly…”
“Right.” Zip nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, shit is bad right now. Reap’ll be here with Colt. He’ll be taken care of.”
I blinked. “You think the Iron Horsemen would come to the hospital?”
“I wouldn’t put anything past them. They went after women and children. They broke the code. They are out of their fuckin’ minds.”
I looked at my hands and then back at Zip. “What happens now? Reap shadows Colt while he’s recovering. What do we do about all the other stuff? The mess we have to clean up from the park. The sheriff showed up…”
“Flynn is handling it.”
“Of course he is,” I muttered. “What about Darcy and the kids? What about Cheese’s funeral—”
