AllFreeNovel
Share Us
We were taking a few days for ourselves.
“Linden?” Boxer asked from somewhere behind me.
I took a deep breath. “He ruined so many lives,” I said after a long while of silence. “Rachel’s included.”
“Yeah, he did.”
“I don’t have any regrets.” I turned around and looked him in the eye. “But I’m feeling something. Something I’m not sure I have words for.”
Boxer nodded, his expression full of understanding. “I know.”
“Can I even call myself a doctor now?” It was a rhetorical question that no one could answer except me.
I looked up at the sky. It was a clear day. Not a cloud in sight. Perfect.
I shook my head. “Is life just about losing more and more pieces of yourself?”
“You find new ones, Linden.”
“Yeah, I guess you do.” I frowned. “I thought I’d feel different.”
“Different how?”
“Vindicated. I don’t feel that. Not right now, anyway. Maybe I will later, but for now…”
“Now, you’re just kind of living it, yeah?”
I nodded. “Processing. Making peace with who I am. Who I’ve become, I guess.” My brow furrowed. “I thought I’d be able to take a deep breath about it. I thought I’d feel a twinge of guilt. I’m not feeling either of those things. If I had to name what I’m feeling, I’d say it was grief. But I’m not mourning him or the loss of his life. Or even that I was the one to end it. I think, I’m just mourning everything I used to be…because I’m not that anymore.”
“No, you’re not,” he said slowly. “You’re something different. That’s okay, too.”
“Thank you,” I said to him.
“For what?”
“For loving me through all of this. For still wanting me.”
He came to me and cradled my cheek in his hand to stare deep into my eyes. “You’re my ride or die. I know that in my bones. I know you have the strength to be part of this life. Forever.”
Boxer leaned down and kissed me. “Ride or die with me through life, Linden.”
Epilogue
Several months later…
I stuckmy key into the lock of the home I shared with Boxer and opened the front door. “What the hell?”
The hallway was lit with dozens of white candles, and the floor was scattered with linden flowers.
I set my keys on the foyer table, shut the door, and dropped my purse.
“Boxer?” I called out.
When there wasn’t a reply, I followed the trail of flowers through the house and up the stairs to the bedroom.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said with a laugh.
Boxer stood completely naked, except for the leather bowtie around his neck.
