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My eyes widen.Netting?
What in the name of all that's good is going on here?
Sitting up to untangle myself from whatever I've got myself caught in, my head cocks to the side, and I bite my lip to stifle the laughter brewing in my belly.
Lindsay and I were wrong about this one. Way wrong.
"What… What arethose? Are thosefishnets?"
"Absolutely. I like to keep my boys nice and aired out. Plus, the sales chick in San Francisco last spring told me they'd be the hottest thing on the market this summer."
Try as I might to hold it back, my laughter is unleashed. “She lied.” Curiosity gets the better of me, and I tug his jeans down to mid-thigh, gasping when I’m faced with the entire picture.
A picture I’ll likely never forget.
“And the flamingos make them even more ridiculous."
The more I try to stop laughing, the harder I laugh. Tears now roll down my cheeks.
"Are we going to do this or not?" Colby snaps. “You always were a tease in high school.”
"Oh?” My eyebrows creep up my forehead. Fighting back a laugh, I say, “You’re certainly not in any position for name calling.
He pushes up off the bed and tugs his jeans back up, glaring at me. “So that’s a no?”
“Oh, yes,definitelya no. You can't come here looking like a Wish version of a Miami stripper and expect me to take you seriously. There are many fish in the sea; hopefully, you can catch one in your fancy fishnets." Just the thought causes another explosive bout of laughter.
"Whatever. I was just trying to do you a favor anyway.”
Right. As Colby begins collecting his strewn clothes from around the R.V., I retrieve my phone and open a rideshare app. Luckily, there’s a driver nearby.
This night can’t end fast enough.
"The Uber I requested for you will be here in five minutes. I think it's best if you wait outside. Thanks for delivering my R.V.” I pause and cover my mouth. “Sorry for laughing," I say, shaking my head. "But dude,no."
Colby grunts as he steps down to the street and I swiftly shut the door behind him, then plop down on my new couch and text Lindsay.
Me:We were both wrong. And there are no winners in this bet. We will both need pitchers of margaritas pitchers for this story.
"This is the most outrageous thing you've ever done, Andrea."
"How could you decide this without consulting me first?" my mother wails.
"Mama, Papa, thank you for your concern, but I’m a grown woman. I've been married, divorced, and raised two amazing children. I think I can manage a self-discovery road trip."
"Why not discover yourself here?" my mother asks.
I laugh, and she blinks. Oh, she’s serious. I clear my throat. "You know exactly why, Mama. I need to get out of Sonoma. I don't want to live in the shadow of being Jason's ex-wife or Mason and Madi's mom. I want to do everything I could only dream about for the last twenty years."
"I think it sounds amazing, Mom,” Mason says, always my knight in shining armor. “It will give you time to figure out what you want to be passionate about for the next sixty years."
"Sixty years?" the group shouts in unison before bursting into laughter.
Mason frowns.
"What do you plan on doing, Mom?” Madi asks. “Are you just going to drive around aimlessly?"
"Some of the time, yeah.” I shrug. It actually sounds delightful. “But Lindsay helped me create a list of things I've always wanted to do. I'm working out my travel plan schedule now."
