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Bailey would be awake.
"What happened to Bailey wasn't your fault. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself."
Each word is like nails on a chalkboard. No matter how many people try to convince me what happened to Bailey wasn’t my fault, the fact remains that everything happens for a reason—and in this case,Iam that reason.
"Whether it's my fault or not, I should have protected her."
Jacob grips my shoulder for reassurance. "No one blames you, man. The only person at fault is the junkie who pulled the trigger. Bailey's going to pull through. You have to believe in her strength. It's the only way you can survive this." He pulls me into an uncomfortable bear hug, from which there is no escape.
"Am I interrupting something here?" Lindsay asks as she climbs the stairs into the bus.
Jacob and I jump apart from one another. "Nope. Yeah, so… I'll see you backstage,” Jacob says to me as Lindsay slips into his arms. “You'll shadow Davey with equipment."
"Awesome. Thanks." I make a beeline for the door, but just before exiting, I stop. I need to fix things. "Hey Lindsay, where's Andrea?"
"She's in her R.V. Not sure what happened last night, but she was upset."
As if I wasn’t already painfully aware. "Thanks."
Though her R.V. is parked just one site over, the fifty-yard walk moves slowly. I run what I want to say over and over in my head, knowing damn well I will forget every word as soon as I get in front of her.
My nerves cause my knock to be much more aggressive than I intend. I stand there nervously, shuffling my feet, waiting for Andrea to answer. I feel like I'm back in middle school, not knowing how to talk to a girl I like.
"Hey."
I try to speak, but I can't. Before me, perfectly lit by the sun, stands one of the most beautiful women I've laid eyes on. Petite feet with perfectly painted toes; tone, tan legs; small, perky breasts; a smile men would die over; and mesmerizing amber eyes I want to get lost in over and over.
"Want to come in?" she asks, holding the door open for me. I slide past her. The scent of her hair is like coconuts on a warm tropical beach.
"I'm sorry," we say simultaneously, each apology catching the other off guard.
"Why are you sorry?" Andrea asks. "I'm the one who made a fool out of myself. I misread the whole situation. It serves me right for only dating two guys my entire life. Why would a hot guy like you be interested in someone like me?" She throws her hands over her mouth like she didn't intend to say the last part.
"Because you're gorgeous." I push her chin up, forcing her eyes to meet mine. "And funny. Smart. Drop dead gorgeous."
"You said that already." Her smile melts away the sadness clouding her eyes.
"If I said it twice, it must be true." Grabbing her hand, I lead her to the couch. "In no way did you make a fool of yourself. I've enjoyed hanging out with you. You didn't read the situation wrong; Ididwant to kiss you."
"Then why did you turn away?"
I sigh, chewing on my lip as I consider the answer.
She’s on a whole revival mission, those beautiful amber eyes set on the future, while I’m…
Well, I’m stuck in the past. Frozen in it. Bogged down by baggage, mistakes.
No closer to leaving my prison of guilt and regret than Bailey is to leaving that bed.
Andrea squeezes my hand, so I look back into her eyes.
"Because the sky above you is bursting with sunshine in every direction. Mine… Mine's a scary ass storm, and the last thing I want to do is bring darkness to your light."
Andrea's eyes burn with intensity as she holds my gaze. "I'm not all sunshine and roses, you know."
"I don't doubt that. I can see the fire in those eyes." I push the same stray black hair behind her ear which caused this whole mess in the first place. "My baggage is dark. And if I ever did something to dull your flame, I'd never be able to forgive myself."
"Maybe I was supposed to bring the sunshine back to you."
