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I had no idea why the barrage of sentiments rushed out of my mouth.
Goddamn it. Why did he have to exhale and say nothing? The man was infuriating as hell.
I shifted closer, refusing to allow him off the hook. Whatever our strange, passionate connection had become at least allowed me the truth. Right? Or was I fooling myself again?
“Talk to me, Kirill. Tell me something, anything to help me understand you.”
Another deep sigh.
Damn the man.
Just when I was ready to turn away, he slipped his index finger under my chin, brushing it back and forth. The touch was enigmatic, sensual, his eyes even more so.
“I’m not attempting to hurt you, little rebel. I have reasons to be a very private man.”
“I know. Your job.”
“Not just that. I can’t risk losing anyone else.”
I leaned over, drinking in the exotic scent of his aftershave, my head spinning. “What did you lose?”
An instant faraway look flashed in his eyes. While he continued to stroke my face, moving the tip from one side of my jaw to the other, he was miles away.
“My parents. My little sister. I remember very little except for their deaths.”
I found myself shifting closer, a little hammer going off inside my head. “What happened?”
“There was a war on the streets in Russia. My parents had taken my little sister to the doctor. That much I remember. I was with them. They were caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.” While he didn’t look away, he lowered his gaze, his mouth pinched.
“I’m so sorry.” I wrapped my hand around his, pulling it against the spot over my heart.
“I was a little boy, a mere child, but I understood terror. There were so many people running, trying to get away from the gunfire and carnage. We were suddenly separated and I was pushed forward with the crowd. I tried to get back to them, but I was too small. A man picked me up in his arms, whispering that I’d be safe. I screamed for my parents, trying to explain to my savior that I had family, but it was already too late.”
His voice was softer than I’d ever heard, yet there was a hardness in his eyes, the memory dredging up the wretched moment that had changed his life forever.
He dug his fingers into my hand, his chest heaving. “I watched them being killed then trampled and all I could do was scream. I couldn’t save them. I couldn’t…”
His voice trailed off, his chiseled face holding an even harder edge.
“The man who saved you.” I wasn’t certain how to ask the question.
“Vladimir Kozlov.”
Now I understood his extreme loyalty, his willingness to give up a good portion of his life in order to protect his savior. I wanted more, but he’d programmed himself to lock away all his emotions, refusing to accept or acknowledge that he had justified needs. I eased my hand to his face, cupping his jaw. He blinked several times, unable to look me in the eyes.
“Several of my men were executed recently by an unknown source. I couldn’t save them, but I survived. They counted on me to protect them, and I failed.” His admittance was gut-wrenching to hear, another reason he refused to allow me in.
When I inched even closer, I was surprised he didn’t push me away. I pushed on the side of his face, forcing him to look at me. The swell of emotions I saw in his eyes was a tidal wave of images and feelings, desires and fear. His breathing was heavier, his facial features distorted.
Then he grabbed my arm, yanking me onto his lap, cupping my face with both hands.
“That’s why I can’t get close to you. My world will destroy you.” Even though he said the words, he crushed his mouth over mine, his hunger knowing no bounds.
I gripped his wrists as he thrust his tongue inside, sweeping his back and forth, every action more dominating than before. He growled into the powerful moment, his actions become brutal and unforgiving. The swirl of emotions was intense, heartbreaking yet pulling us together. We were locked together in our own fortress, two people who had no business together yet couldn’t get enough of each other.
I’d never felt so strongly about anyone in my life. I’d never been so exasperated or so overwhelmed, the fervor of our connection more breathtaking than any jolt of electricity. He drank from me hungrily, sucking on my tongue as he yanked in my essence, his savage moves forcing me back and forth across his lap. His cock was rock hard, the heavy beat as it throbbed against me sending several chills dancing down my body.
Within seconds, we were tearing at each other’s clothes, neither one of us caring where we were or about the threats to our lives. Our combined sounds were guttural, like two beasts devouring each other. I was breathless as I tugged off my shoes, the haze around my eyes glittered in gold.
