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I stop watching. I have already seen too much. I knew what he was, but it is one thing to be told someone is a monster. It is something entirely different to see the monstrosity displayed before you in all its glory.
I close my eyes and I cover my ears with my hands and I wait until the screaming stops. The next thing I know, a massive hand is fisted in the back of my jumpsuit and I am being carried back to Manik’s lair.
Manik
She’s hysterical. Terrified. A shaking, wailing mess. I am very angry with myself for letting her see what she saw. The human does not have the stomach necessary to be my companion. She is too weak and compassionate. She will be mentally destroyed by witnessing my acts as surely as she would have been physically ruined if she were caught in the violence. I should have left her inside. If I had, she would have remained innocent to everything she just saw. What has been seen cannot be unseen.
I return her to her bed, where she curls up on herself and hides beneath the blanket. She is shaking beneath the sheets and making a sound I find very unsettling. It’s a kind of weeping that cuts to the core of me and makes me feel very guilty rather than turned on. I don’t like it. I want it to stop, but I don’t want to frighten her any more than she already is.
Giving her some time to recover, I clean up. I would usually drag the bodies back with me, but on this occasion, I know I’ll have to go out and get them later. I am having to modify my behavior to accommodate this human, and that could put us both in danger.
When I return, she’s sitting up in bed. She is less tearful, and much more angry. I anticipated this reaction as well. As soon as the shock fades, the righteous anger comes.
“You killed them! They were just coming to rescue me, and you fucking killed them!”
“I kill everybody that lands on this planet. I made an exception for you, but I will not make an exception for anybody else. Those who come to rescue you are also coming to take me. I will defend myself. Tell your ship to stop sending out distress calls, or there will be more deaths.”
Her expression makes me feel sorry for her. She does not know what to do. I see her lower lip quivering, her eyes full of tears. She is trying to be brave. I admire that. It brings out a compassionate impulse in me.
“You’ve not seen anybody die before.”
“Not like that. Not torn apart by bare hands. You…”
“I killed him fairly cleanly. He did not suffer for long. Not nearly as long as I would have suffered if he had captured me.”
Lyssa
I am loathe to realize it, but I put myself in this situation. By all rights, I should be dead. My survival here on this planet was a matter of pure chance. I look at Manik and I feel as though I have been lying to myself this entire time. Every sweet moment I’ve felt with him has been an illusion produced by lying to myself. He is everything they said he was — and maybe worse.
“If I hadn’t set myself on fire, would I be dead now?”
“Probably. I would have killed you before I realized how cute you were.”
It’s a chilling compliment.
Today has reminded me that this is no joke, and it is not a romantic interlude. Manik is vicious and deadly. He’s everything he has been accused of being, and I can’t pretend otherwise anymore. I let my arousal get in the way of my common sense. I was dick drunk, but I am sober now. Very sober.
“Stay here. I need to go out and reclaim what I can. Don’t do anything stupid.”
I can barely move, let alone gather the energy to do anything stupid. I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to look at him the same way again. Those men did not deserve to die. Or maybe they did. I don’t even know anymore. The truth of the matter is that Manik’s perspective and mine are mutually exclusive. We are two separate circles in nonexistent Venn diagram.
The second he is gone, I open a channel to my ship. If she did call for help, she needs to stop. I don’t know how I am going to get off this planet, but I know that it won’t be because I got outside help. Manik won’t let anybody in. I have to find a way to get him to let me out.
“Computer. Are you there?”
“Hello, Lyssa.”
“Computer, please stop broadcasting our position and stop asking for help. He’s going to kill everybody who lands.”
“I have incinerated the ship they landed with so he cannot use the resources to escape.”
“Can you try not to antagonize him, Computer? I am stuck down here with him.”
“I am working on an algorithm to destroy him the next time he emerges from the hideout.”
“If you kill him, I’ll be left down here to survive on my own. Just stay in orbit and stop taking shots. He’s just going to use me as a human fucking shield. I’m the human operator, you’re the computer. Just do as you’re fucking told. Understand?”
Computer lapses into sulky silence. I’ve hurt her feelings. I’d usually be diplomatic, but the events of the day have stripped away all diplomacy. She’s a fucking computer, and she can do what she’s told for goddamn once.
