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HUNTER
Blinking my eyes open, I groan, feeling the thudding ache pounding through my head and the nausea twisting my stomach. My room is unusually dark and I roll over to check the time. My eyes snap open and I throw off the blankets as soon as I see it’s nearly four in the afternoon. I stumble out of bed and jerk my head around in search for my football gear, which is a terrible mistake. I fall to my knees, clutching my stomach and biting back the bile coming up my throat.
I shiver as I swallow, hating myself for feeling this way; hating myself for all my stupid mistakes from the other night. Slumping forward, my forehead hits the mattress, nuzzling it for a moment in an attempt to gain some sort of comfort. I close my eyes, trying to remember what happened at the party, yet everything comes in flashes, nothing quite making sense. I remember Millie coming onto me, remember her being pissed.
I recall meeting Drew and Jerry thinking the duo was strange.
Drew had given me a beer and then everything from that point on was hazy.
I groan. Drew obviously put something in my beer. That has to be it. I have never been that out of control. Sure, I drink a lot and have gotten carried away before. But this had been different. For the first time in a very long while, I had been able to let go. I had felt happy.
There is no way I can ever do it again.
I hear something buzz and open my eyes, looking around and finding my phone on the nightstand. I reach for it, groaning when my fingers slightly brush it from my place on the floor. Movement is difficult and I don’t know if I can lean over without feeling nausea again. I remain like that, my hand reaching out, willing my phone to magically appear in my hand. It buzzes again and finally I get up the courage to move, grinding my teeth as my head spins while I grab my phone.
My eyes widen when I unlock the screen and look at all the missed messages. Several are from the coach, wondering why I haven’t gone to practice. Some are from Dad insisting I return his calls. I see a missed call from Mom and frown, wondering if she’s okay. I quickly dial her, hoping it’s nothing more than a simple check in. I never know these days with her being so ill. A simple call could mean she’s dying.
I sniff and close my eyes against the tears threatening to fall, telling myself everything is fine.
“Hello,” I hear her on the phone, her voice cracking, sounding weak.
I force a smile. “Hey, Mom,” I say, trying to sound cheerful. “Sorry I missed your call.”
“Oh, it’s fine. I assumed you were at practice.”
I nod as if she can see me. “Is everything alright?” My heart hammers as I wait for her answer.
I hear her chuckle on the other line. “You and your father. Constantly worrying over me.” I roll my eyes. It’s like she’s forgotten that Dad has been MIA for the past several months now that he has suddenly taken an interest. “I just wanted to check in. See how you’re doing.”
My jaw clenches as I recall sitting at the doctor’s office, waiting for her to come out from her appointment. My hand grips my phone and I don’t know how much longer I can listen to her pretending that everything is fine when it’s not. “Well, everything’s fine here,” I say shakily. My shoulder is killing me. I look around for my bag, finding it far away in the corner of my room. There should be a couple pills left.
“The doctor says I might be able to go home in the next few days.”
I crawl towards my bag as I say, “That’s great, Mom. So, they were able to… fix it?” I pop open the top and frown at the two pills staring back at me.
Fuck.
I really need to get some more.
“Not necessarily.”
The pills are in my hand, but I stop myself from throwing them into my mouth. “What do you mean ‘not necessarily’?”
I hear her sigh and heart plummets, knowing what she is going to say. But I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want her to stop fighting. She’s so close to being free from this disease. How can she just give up?
“Hunter, I just want to be home, with my family.”
The tears are coming back. I don’t think I can listen anymore. I know I’m being a bad son, I know I’m acting like a child. But I am the child. “Mom-”
“I want to live my life while I still can and even if we continue to fight this thing,” she sighs again. “I don’t want to die in a hospital surrounded by doctors.”
I shove the pills into my mouth, needing something to drown out this pain tearing at my heart. I feel like the world just split and I’m falling with no one to catch me. Swallowing, I choke down my sobs, cursing myself for feeling so powerless. “Well, if you think that’s best,” I say, grimacing at the trembling in my voice.
“Hunter-”
“I gotta go,” I say quickly, my tongue heavy as I force the words out. I can’t listen to this now. I need to get out of here. I need to do something.
“Ok, honey.” Her voice is so soft. I know I’ve upset her. I know she wants to talk with me about this, but I just can’t. Not now. “I love you.”
